I really think that in some way my actions are based on what other minds expect of me.
Merry Christmas Pat Armstrong.
Merry Christmas Jenn White.
Merry Christmas Connor Barrett.
Merry Christmas Tony and Nicole.
Merry Christmas Dad, Dan, Colleen, Nicole, Leila and Alana.
Merry Christmas.
On Crime and Punishment, Kahlil Gibran, through the voice of his prophet says, "It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind, that you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself. And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed."
How long is a while, i wonder. I assume if i knock again, louder, and shout that i am sorry, it will not quicken the forgiveness process.
But really, don't i need to forgive myself? Isn't that what matters? If i thought i'd done nothing wrong then any anger you direct at me would not be felt. This makes me think that if you forgave me, it would not matter, because i'm not able or ready to let go of the guilt that i feel. Perhaps your resistance to me is created in my mind moreso than in your own.
In this light i should ask how i could come to forgive myself, not when you might forgive me. I don't know how i could, honestly. Maybe i should just let go of the guilt, once i feel it's been fully inspected and understood. Keeping it in my back pocket isn't doing any good.
Trying to defend myself from the guilt i feel does not do any good. It does bad. Trying to dodge blame for how I feel. Thinking that this self imposed blame is unfair is crazy. The blame comes from inside. I chose it. If i try to defend my self chosen punishment, then i'm fighting an inner battle from both sides. Both sides will get stronger. I hold tight, and push forth my defence into a cloud of ever intensifying guilt.
Kahlil: "And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?"
Peace and Love, gang.
simon
I would love to see more of this raw talk. As the night grew long, many people were getting tired, dropping from conversation, but it maintained. There were laughs. There were smoke breaks. There was truth. People said what they wanted to say. People heard what they wanted to hear. We talked a lot about music. About singing, and about guitar. We talked about skill development. Talked about writing. About collaboration.
A bunch of kids who get along, looking for points where they wouldn't. I'd like to think that another time like that will come soon, but i don't think it can be planned.
Peace
simon
Merry Christmas Aine.
Merry Christmas Pat Armstrong.
Merry Christmas Jenn White.
Merry Christmas Connor Barrett.
Merry Christmas Tony and Nicole.
Merry Christmas Dad, Dan, Colleen, Nicole, Leila and Alana.
Merry Christmas.
Regret. Guilt. Relief. Forgiveness. Fair.
On Crime and Punishment, Kahlil Gibran, through the voice of his prophet says, "It is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind, that you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and therefore unto yourself. And for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed."
How long is a while, i wonder. I assume if i knock again, louder, and shout that i am sorry, it will not quicken the forgiveness process.
But really, don't i need to forgive myself? Isn't that what matters? If i thought i'd done nothing wrong then any anger you direct at me would not be felt. This makes me think that if you forgave me, it would not matter, because i'm not able or ready to let go of the guilt that i feel. Perhaps your resistance to me is created in my mind moreso than in your own.
In this light i should ask how i could come to forgive myself, not when you might forgive me. I don't know how i could, honestly. Maybe i should just let go of the guilt, once i feel it's been fully inspected and understood. Keeping it in my back pocket isn't doing any good.
Trying to defend myself from the guilt i feel does not do any good. It does bad. Trying to dodge blame for how I feel. Thinking that this self imposed blame is unfair is crazy. The blame comes from inside. I chose it. If i try to defend my self chosen punishment, then i'm fighting an inner battle from both sides. Both sides will get stronger. I hold tight, and push forth my defence into a cloud of ever intensifying guilt.
Kahlil: "And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?"
Peace and Love, gang.
simon
On saturday night a mittful of islanders talked and drank in a halifax hotel room between the hours of five pm and two am. There was three hours of drinking/food ordering/food eating, three hours of drinking/sheraides, and three hours of raw talk.
I would love to see more of this raw talk. As the night grew long, many people were getting tired, dropping from conversation, but it maintained. There were laughs. There were smoke breaks. There was truth. People said what they wanted to say. People heard what they wanted to hear. We talked a lot about music. About singing, and about guitar. We talked about skill development. Talked about writing. About collaboration.
A bunch of kids who get along, looking for points where they wouldn't. I'd like to think that another time like that will come soon, but i don't think it can be planned.
Peace
simon