Little bit of Buddhist junk here. I'll start with a recap.
All life is sorrowful.
The cause of suffering is ignorant desire.
Suppression of suffering can be achieved.
It is achieved through the noble eight fold path.
I have a hard time having faith in my actions. I think my actions could very easily be rooted in "ignorant desire". How can i convince myself that my actions are for any sort of universal good? If i am conscious of my actions than they were chosen by me, and i think it's safe to say that if I've chosen to do something than it was chosen out of ignorant desire.
Other than instinctual actions (which may or may not be trustable) all actions are conscious. Can i assume that my actions are all cause for suffering, in one way or another? Might this be why Buddhist monks separate themselves from much of society, choosing a life of quiet meditation in the hills of Tibet?
May Peace and Peace and Peace be everywhere.
simon
This evening i read a bunch of kerouak and did some writing. It just occurred to me that i haven't drawn anything since wednesday. Doing something every day makes a big difference.
Train the body and relax the mind. Understanding control.
word.
I hope nobody minds when the blog gets a little preachy. Any advice i come up with is best followed by myself anyway.
I'm listening to bright eyes, and it's making me want an album. This patience better pay off. Patience and pride, as it were. I want to wait until i can play all the instruments on the album. Bass is coming. Drums aughta be next. But i can't see myself being good enough at drums until like 2010, and that's if i get on them soon.
I think it's a good thing. My voice probably will continue to improve. Time certainly wont hurt the tightness of my songs. I'm still falling out of love with songs, and writing news ones. I want it to be perfect. I want it to satisfy my desire to share songs with the world. Leave nothing of my past, no state of mind, no point of view, no expression of my world unsaid. It's gotta be perfect so that i can move on.
That's it.
it.
simon
We've all been told to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Starting yesterday, I'm doing my best. I've got a Brita water filtration system, and there's a little number clicker on the top to keep track of the date the filter was last changed. Starting yesterday, I'm using that number clicker to count the glasses of water I drink.
It makes me feel really good to drink glass after glass of water. I do NOT think that most of the good feelings are placebo inspired.
I'm still getting better at bass. Today i played without looking for a little while. In effort to forget that i'm playing a number (fret/string) and listen more for the sound. If the number is wrong, then i don't often know which number to move to. If the sound is wrong it's more analog of a problem. I think i'm learning.
I wrote in my journal a while ago (i think i was in Saskatoon) that i should start playing guitar without looking.
I played piano today, went to the music building at UPEI and put myself in a practice room with a baby grand. Bounced around on some right hand chords, left hand bass notes, playing some bright eyes tunes. Still Fighting It. Everything In It's Right Place.
Dave Fleming bought a delay pedal, and drove me home from sobers, where i ran into Brittany and him by chance. I continued my application process at Boston Pizza. I would call this my second consecutive productive day. Third, if a walk to and from downtown is worthwhile. Hummus at Cedar's. Let's say three then, i don't need unreachable standards.
May peace and peace and peace be everywhere.
And I am super proud, in a way. I am super self conscious, in a way. Despite believing that any spiritual progress (or moral/logical refinement) I've undergone has been due to a strong sense of self doubt and a strong search for improvement, I still try to impart this 'knowledge' of mine onto others. [last sentence with different words] I think what I learned i learned on my own. It's possible to learn through another person, but i cannot determine your lessons. I should not try to teach you to be like me. You'll learn what you choose to learn, what you're ready to learn. Best that i become nothing so as not to cause conflict between intentions.
Anyway, a major problem here is that I'm supposed to become aware of my nothingness, yet i am totally full of myself.
"Are you still thinking, looking, living, as from an imaginary phenomenal center? As long as you do that you can never recognize your freedom."
That was my Buddha Daily Meditation for Saturday the third. (google.com/ig)
Starting this post, i was hoping to come to the conclusion that if i place value in my art, and not in my self, then i'm okay. Still a good taoist. I want to be able to try hard and not believe that i'm trying hard for my self. But I don't know what life wants from me, i only know what i want from life. My efforts are tainted. I just feel so capable. I feel like I know what's best, but i know that everyone feels that way. I have a strong desire for my life to have universal worth. This might be a problem. I want to be everything. Yikes.
I am the poster child for idealism. I dream of swearing off money, traveling alone and homeless, going door to door exchanging improvised handwritten poetry for generosity.
I'm just not strong enough right now. And that kinda makes me sad. Being aware of a certain ideal and not living it right away is embarrassing.
That said, i kinda want to do the music thing first. Probably because it's easier and funner, desires of the self and all, but so be it.
Peace and Love,
simon
Today i sewed a button onto a plaid yellow shirt, did some dishes, played some bass, and i'm listening to my favorite spoon album, kill the moonlight.
Everything is gonna be alright. That's a promise. Spread the love.
All life is sorrowful.
The cause of suffering is ignorant desire.
Suppression of suffering can be achieved.
It is achieved through the noble eight fold path.
I have a hard time having faith in my actions. I think my actions could very easily be rooted in "ignorant desire". How can i convince myself that my actions are for any sort of universal good? If i am conscious of my actions than they were chosen by me, and i think it's safe to say that if I've chosen to do something than it was chosen out of ignorant desire.
Other than instinctual actions (which may or may not be trustable) all actions are conscious. Can i assume that my actions are all cause for suffering, in one way or another? Might this be why Buddhist monks separate themselves from much of society, choosing a life of quiet meditation in the hills of Tibet?
May Peace and Peace and Peace be everywhere.
simon
Lame as it may sound, i'm feeling really at peace. I've been enjoying a free Tai Chi class on tuesday nights at the west royalty community center. I've been spending time stretching. Trying to find that balance.
This evening i read a bunch of kerouak and did some writing. It just occurred to me that i haven't drawn anything since wednesday. Doing something every day makes a big difference.
Train the body and relax the mind. Understanding control.
word.
The good life is actually pretty easy. If you're stuck in a struggle, you might be aiming for something unnecessary.
I hope nobody minds when the blog gets a little preachy. Any advice i come up with is best followed by myself anyway.
I'm listening to bright eyes, and it's making me want an album. This patience better pay off. Patience and pride, as it were. I want to wait until i can play all the instruments on the album. Bass is coming. Drums aughta be next. But i can't see myself being good enough at drums until like 2010, and that's if i get on them soon.
I think it's a good thing. My voice probably will continue to improve. Time certainly wont hurt the tightness of my songs. I'm still falling out of love with songs, and writing news ones. I want it to be perfect. I want it to satisfy my desire to share songs with the world. Leave nothing of my past, no state of mind, no point of view, no expression of my world unsaid. It's gotta be perfect so that i can move on.
That's it.
it.
simon
Drinking Water.
We've all been told to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Starting yesterday, I'm doing my best. I've got a Brita water filtration system, and there's a little number clicker on the top to keep track of the date the filter was last changed. Starting yesterday, I'm using that number clicker to count the glasses of water I drink.
It makes me feel really good to drink glass after glass of water. I do NOT think that most of the good feelings are placebo inspired.
I'm still getting better at bass. Today i played without looking for a little while. In effort to forget that i'm playing a number (fret/string) and listen more for the sound. If the number is wrong, then i don't often know which number to move to. If the sound is wrong it's more analog of a problem. I think i'm learning.
I wrote in my journal a while ago (i think i was in Saskatoon) that i should start playing guitar without looking.
I played piano today, went to the music building at UPEI and put myself in a practice room with a baby grand. Bounced around on some right hand chords, left hand bass notes, playing some bright eyes tunes. Still Fighting It. Everything In It's Right Place.
Dave Fleming bought a delay pedal, and drove me home from sobers, where i ran into Brittany and him by chance. I continued my application process at Boston Pizza. I would call this my second consecutive productive day. Third, if a walk to and from downtown is worthwhile. Hummus at Cedar's. Let's say three then, i don't need unreachable standards.
May peace and peace and peace be everywhere.
I consider myself a Taoist. Which is to say, i want to live in the spirit of the ideals of Taoism. The problem that I've run across with this is that I think Taoism wants me to be nothing. Forget the self, that sort of jazz.
And I am super proud, in a way. I am super self conscious, in a way. Despite believing that any spiritual progress (or moral/logical refinement) I've undergone has been due to a strong sense of self doubt and a strong search for improvement, I still try to impart this 'knowledge' of mine onto others. [last sentence with different words] I think what I learned i learned on my own. It's possible to learn through another person, but i cannot determine your lessons. I should not try to teach you to be like me. You'll learn what you choose to learn, what you're ready to learn. Best that i become nothing so as not to cause conflict between intentions.
Anyway, a major problem here is that I'm supposed to become aware of my nothingness, yet i am totally full of myself.
"Are you still thinking, looking, living, as from an imaginary phenomenal center? As long as you do that you can never recognize your freedom."
That was my Buddha Daily Meditation for Saturday the third. (google.com/ig)
Starting this post, i was hoping to come to the conclusion that if i place value in my art, and not in my self, then i'm okay. Still a good taoist. I want to be able to try hard and not believe that i'm trying hard for my self. But I don't know what life wants from me, i only know what i want from life. My efforts are tainted. I just feel so capable. I feel like I know what's best, but i know that everyone feels that way. I have a strong desire for my life to have universal worth. This might be a problem. I want to be everything. Yikes.
I am the poster child for idealism. I dream of swearing off money, traveling alone and homeless, going door to door exchanging improvised handwritten poetry for generosity.
I'm just not strong enough right now. And that kinda makes me sad. Being aware of a certain ideal and not living it right away is embarrassing.
That said, i kinda want to do the music thing first. Probably because it's easier and funner, desires of the self and all, but so be it.
Peace and Love,
simon
Last night i dressed up like a girl and drank until i puked.
Today i sewed a button onto a plaid yellow shirt, did some dishes, played some bass, and i'm listening to my favorite spoon album, kill the moonlight.
Everything is gonna be alright. That's a promise. Spread the love.