Unsatisfied.
I suppose it's all too reasonable that the day i discover my acid supply has gone missing is the day i come crashing down to earth. Fuck you sobriety, laughing there, prodding at my raw skin.
3 days ago, on acid, i decided that i'd been smoking too many cigarettes, i didn't really dig them anymore. I've only had 1 in the past two days, and i dont really feel like i need them. I suppose that's progress. It's nothing i didn't think i could do though. It's all too easy, really. Heroin will be much more difficult to come down from. Especially if my life lacks a specific purpose at the time.
It really hurts to have lost the acid though. I'm in a bit of a numb state right now. I only had 12 tabs, but trev and I were going to have 3 each tonight. And then i'd still have 6, which would be good for me and a friend, some other day.
Come to think of it, i really dont feel bad. Numb is the best way to discribe it. With acid i'm experiencing the world, every moment of it. As shards of light pass through me, I can't help but recognise the beauty. Every ounce.
Somewhere soon the sun will set. And i'm totally indifferent. I'd rather drink myself into blackness.
But hey, i'm not going to. Just cause i lack the vigor acid brings me, i'm not going to become completely suicidal. The urge of self distruction never really leaves me, but i'm safe.
I dont know who i'm talking to on this thing. Especially when i have nothing good to say.
As empty as eternity
these hands can't really hold.
if someone's watching over me
i'm sure he thinks i'll grow.
pain is less distracting
then the joys i've felt before
patience in these angry times
will hollow out my soul.
once empty sure the good will come
soon be filled with love of life
cry joyous to the empty sky
sing to the world "unite"
too aware of goodness
that current sadness brings
cause you can't deny the truth of pain
joy is never quite as real.
hope stuck inside just dulls the knife
and i would rather feel.
I dont know, chew on that.
Somewhere swimming in my beautiful
This is just an update. Impersonal as possible. I'm well. I'll write again from a remote british columbian place. And i'll have some new stories to speak of.
Mike mahar told me once that i'd learn alot from playing acid with guitar.
Too beautiful of a typo. Good night.
Well, kent. Have at 'er. But i'm luckier.
Simon's Day on Acid
I woke up at 11ish. Showered. Figured I aught to have some of the acid i bought the night before. I had planned on buying a whole bunch once i had a taste of the drug, and yesterday these plans came into fruition.
I had planned on a smaller dose this time around, I was planning on a relatively normal day, with minor quirks and above average sensory stimuli. But as it turns out, i did 3 tabs, which was the same as i'd done the first time for a trip through stanely park.
The plan.
I was going to drop acid, and then make it to a sweet falafel place on granville in time to order food without being foolish. It didn't seem like a lofty goal. I had a large chunk of an hour before the drug could really get anywhere with me, and i think it's only 35 minutes to the falafel place. Seeeems easy.
The plan was going frightfully well. It's a beautiful day. Trust me on that. I was soaking up the sun while walking on davie st. I made my way to the falafel place. It was closed.
That's when i realized it was easter sunday. It was hours later before i discovered it was easter monday.
I'm still buzzing from anticipation over the acid. And i'm sure that it hasn't made any huge effect in my ability to deal with outside stimuli. So i eagerly search for a new place to eat. Moments later, i see a falafel place across the street. It's got some corny name, let's call it the falafel zone. And it's street number is 902. Needless to say, this area-code turned culture symbol reaches for me. I passed on it. I mean seriously, falafel zone?
I started walking up some convenient street and found a place that served sushi. I went in to sit. Some nice people helped me find a place.
For whenever it becomes relivant, i had my guitar on my back during this journey.
I ordered food with a professionalism that wreaked of sobriety. hahaha
The restaurant wasn't huge. There was 4 rows of booths. The store was divided down the middle. I was sitting third row from the right. Facing the back of the store. A blond thing sat down, alone, second row from the right. Facing the back. Basically, without the store's division, i would've been seated beside her, looking with her at an empty side of the booth where our companions should have been.
I ask her if she'd like to join me. She declines.
Food arrives, and it's very exciting. I find the pieces of sushi take a very long time to chew. I chalk that up to drugs and try and be patient.
At some time or another, i thank heaven that i'm not currently sitting across from a blond 30ish year old woman on her lunch break. It would've been a disaster. And my choices would have been between telling her i was on acid, or trying to sit still while my mind is swailing.
I eat half of my sushi and walk towards the beach. Getting the second half packaged to go turns out surprisingly easy. I didn't have any trouble communicating. It made me happy.
Back outside. Oooh damn. It feels real good. sunny sunny day.
I made it to the beach (needless to say) and on a sort of beachy outskirt parking lot i sit down to play some guitar. I fire through without you, why me, and probably 5 minutes of random bits of string.
I ate the rest of my sushi there. I had a very pleasant interaction with a 50 year old asian woman who seemed to be there while her son was skateboarding in the parking lot. By a very pleasant interaction i mean a bit of eye contact. And a bit of something that i understood to be gratitude for my existance. i played well. it was earned
Then it was time to move on, and i found a girl sitting on the beach reading, so i joined her. I broke the ice by telling her i was on acid. She was reading Carl Jung, and told me a bit about string theory, and layers of conciousness. It was fascenating. She told me she smokes alot of pot, but hasn't done acid. I tell her that it's really cool, and possibly worth her time. But that it'll find her. Something comforting like that.
I walk along the beach until i'm close to natalie and jenny's appartment. I go.
I had to, really. I didn't have any tobacco on me.
Natalie is very inviting. Jenny is working (which i knew).
Natalie dropped at the same time as me, and while i've been out having adventures she's been going through a sort of mental adventure. A sort of acid trip that i haven't had yet. Mine have all been outdoorsy.
Natalie and I talk a bit about our experiences thus far. Being on acid makes you feel like such a child. Like you're able to see things for the first time again. You feel sooo innocent. And that can translate to insecurity and fear, i would guess. But not for me. I felt wide eyed and full.
Natalie and I go to the beach. It's a lovely place to lay and listen.
After natalie and I found a nice log to rest by, and some nice locals to share our smokes with, i found myself rocking out HARD to delicate, by Damien Rice. I had a 60 year old something or other playing lead, through a battery powered amp, and i was using a 4o year old's acoustic/electric which was plugged into the same amp. And i screamed so hard. Why do you fill my sorrow/with the words you borrowed. Screamed so hard. Why do you sing hallelujia/if it means nothing to ya/why do you sing with me at all.
It felt like a very special time for me. I really screamed. Why.
We came back from the beach a little after 6. I told Natalie that i'd come to take jenny away from her. My intent was apologetic and unflinching. It was likely understood to be acid drivel.
Jenny got home, and we've spent the last 3 hours taking turns on guitar. Singing louder then i ever knew i could. And she kissed me.
the end.
Jenny and I went to the Yale, a pretty neat little bar that has live blues 7 nights a week. And we drank.
I love spending time with this girl. I've been here six days, and i may not be here much longer, but i hope to squeeze every bit of good times into this place, before it's time to pack my bags full of memories and move on.
I may have someone to take with me, though.
----------------
I just like that as an ending. Of course she's not coming planting. But all signs point to a post planting partnership. I've got her signed to a one year deal. I'm also buying 20+ tabs of acid to take north. Bring on the introspection.
I got a yamaha F-325, the same as my former F-310, but with considerably better tuning pegs. I got a gig bag, and i got a neat little 75 dollar set of bongos, or congas, or whatever the small ones are called.
They're not as cool as a djembe, but want to get used to hitting two notes. Plus there's a better chance someone else planting will have a djembe.
I'd have a better idea when i'm going to victoria if i'd spoken to one of it's resedent's recently.
Cheers.
I got some lyrics written this morning, which was good.
I dont know when i'm going to victoria. Soon though, it'll have to be soon.
Acid is really something. I did it early in the day, 11:30am on tuesday, then walked around stanley park for a while. We (jenny, natalie, myself) were on the beach for a while, then into a woodsy region for some hiking and tree climbing. Then back to a towny beach area for hotdogs. I felt great, and look forward to trying bigger doses. I was told that it's supposed to be alot crazier, but the girls traditionally do it at night and indoors. My experience was very natural. Full of light and trees and activities, as opposed to shadows and doubt and fear.
Maintaining.
It's 1:27. I remembered, just now, while reading the time, I've got a bus tomorrow morning, at 20 minutes after 8. From nelson to kelowna.
Nelson has been a hell of a time.
I just looked back at my last few posts to see what i've said thus far about my time in nelson, and it appears that my last post was written in kelowna, and that i've said nothing of my misadventures since toronto. For shame!
Well, I got on the bus in toronto in a bit of a sour mood. Dave and I each got our own seats, which was really important for sleeping. This of course was learned taking the greyhound to and from Nashville.
In the outskirts of toronto, before really getting on the road, we stop and pick up 2 passengers. I get one of them. Something of a 6'4" black man. He's got headphones, so there's no conversation there. I look out the window, and dont sleep. Dude gets out somewhere not too bad, before sudbury. I think i manage a bit of shut eye at some point.
In sudbury, two girls get on together, and one of them sits with me. I believe i say hello. If i did say hello, she undoubtably responded similarly, with a french accent.
She puts a backpack (see also: packsack) on her lap, and i read the tag on it. She's going to nelson.
Nelson is one of two cities in bc that i've spent a bunch of time, my dad used to live there. Now he lives about a half hour out of town. It's where i am right now!
So i figure i'll have to talk to this girl about the tag on her knapsack (see: kitbag) and get into a conversation about why she's going to nelson. She's on vacation from work. She's got 2 weeks off. She has friends in nelson.
First things first though, she says, "I'm sorry, i dont know much english."
Which was too bad enough... we never could talk too well, i tried to learn french, she knew limited english.
Anyway, by the time we get to the first rest stop, she gets up, talks to her sister (as dave and i learned soon after with introductions), and askes me, with the universal "i'm hauling on a doob" gesture, whether i'd like to smoke some marajuana. "Yes i do," i say.
We smoke two joints with the two girls, they fix dave and i up with tobacco too (although dave only accepted tobacco until we got into bc, then he quit. He's been good ever since. As long as cigarellos don't count.) About four hours later, we're at another rest stop, and we're invited out for another two joints. We notice at this rest stop, that the girls have a cigarette pack nearly full of joints. I believe the total was found out to be 30. We likely smoked 16 between sudbury and calgary. Shared alot of time with the girls, always ate with them at rest stops, we played some crib, and some jungle speed. I was able to borrow cds and a diskman for two short whiles, etc. They (jenn 23 and marie 19) were our traveling companions, it was rad.
In calgary, where we went our separate ways, i got jenn's email, and had plans to write her if we were going to be going to nelson.
Upon getting to kelowna we learn that my dad will be going to nelson. And we decide to go as well.
When we get to my dad's house in the slocan valley, things are pretty tame, he shows us where our beds are, and we have a pretty relaxed, standard evening. Most of the days in slocan involve an afternoon joint, and some outdoor activities. Outdoor stuff can be walking through the woods, or bocce ball, or frisbee, or tossing a foam football around. Evenings are usually a joint and a few games of crib while supper is cooking and then after dinner, as we continue playing games (other then cribbage, we played alot of wizard, some dominoes, we played risk once, and have had a few games of go) we'll probably have another joint by 9:00. Around 10 we go to the living room, and my dad'll turn on tv, and i'll usually watch, dave'll usually read a book. Sometimes i write.
Our first night in the slocan valley was right on pace with the other 5 or so days we spent there. The next morning, we went into nelson. I had spent some time in nelson last year when i was applying for the music school (check the archives, i think i wrote a good post in there, started with lyrics to a ben folds song. But i've got to say, i dont like when people put lyrics on their blogs so i dont know why i did. I mean, they make alot of sense to the author, and a bit of sense to other people who know the song, but nine times out of ten i can't wade through the poetic lines to find out what the artist is trying to say, let alone what the song means to the author of the post. Tell your best friend what a song means to you, then hand them the lyrics and press play, then they can say, "wow, that really sounds like you... wow, that's so sweet and beautiful. You really are a shattered spirit." Or you can enjoy the song on your own time, and not bother typing out some words that people could search for on google if they wanted to read them. Heh, yeah... so, that post where i did that. Wrote lyrics. It's a post about me in nelson a year ago. On topic.) and while i was here i spent a few nights with a friend that i knew from 2nd year uni in kelowna. So when dave and I get dropped off downtown, i decide we should walk to the house where i slept back then.
Our trip to the house went splendedly. Megan (rediculous cute) walks around the side of the house as we're approaching, she's with a dude and they each have bikes. She recognises me, "simon!" I had to ask her name. I tell her Dave and I are in town for a while, she gives us her phone number and says it's a place to stay, and we should call her about going to the hot springs some time. It's a beautiful invitation by a beautiful lady, but unfortionately, other then later that day, we dont see her again.
Oh yeah, we had been in touch via Gmail with jenn et marie. We had plans to meet up with them this afternoon. We follow through on these plans! The original call was responded to with an invitation to climb a mountain. But that didn't turn out, as we had no wheels. The backup plan is that we walk to the waterfall, smoke some joints, and play some hack in the afternoon, and we go to the bar, play some pool, drink some beers and watch the montreal canadians (the girl's team, no doubt) play hockey at 4:00. When we're down by the waterfall, we meet up with two dudes. Sky - fairly tall, giant dreadlocks, huge beard, lived in nelson all 28 years of his life (if i heard correctly). and Dave - native guy, didn't talk too too much, was really polite, seemed like a thoughtful guy. As we leave the waterfall these guys give us a tour of town.
First place we stop at is fluid. I go up to the window to read the listings for shows. Shocking. There's a show on monday. Contrived, Jill Barber, and Wintersleep. $6. At the time, this meant tomorrow night. Of course we went.
Sky keeps talking, keeps pointing out places, talking about the town. At my request he shows me a place where there's an acoustic open jam. I figure that i can probably go there and borrow a guitar to play a few tunes. And as it turns out, i can.
But first we go to the bar for beer and hockey. We discover foosball. I'm giddy with excitement.
My spirits come crashing down to earth when Dave and Marie beat Jenn and I 8-0. I'll not go into too much game by game details, but (because i know there will be some readers interested in foosball) i feel i must say that as the nelson experience continued i more then made up for the embarassing opening game.
I dont remember. I think montreal won.
After the game we go to the open mic spot. I ask the dude when things are starting up, i tell him i want to play some songs, and that i dont have a guitar. He says he'll do a few, to get things going, then i can play a few. He follows his end of the deal, plays 4. I play 5. Without You, Why Me, Aim&Shoot/TooKind, Lover I Don't Have to Love, and Take Me Down. I guess i kinda played six; the merging of aim&shoot and too kind must've been 6 minutes. But that's not too long. Plus, i recently used a semi-colon correctly.
Oh, i called Megan from the bar where hockey was on, and she said we could stay there. That she would be somewhere else that night, but she'd leave out blankets and such.
After open mic, dave and I walk the girls home, and walk to megans, leroy is awake, just heading to bed, and he shows us to our couches (dave got a couch, i got a futon.) I wake up at 11ish, possibly a little on the hungover side. Dave and I walk downtown to call the girls from a payphone. We dont get an answer, so we decide to meet them at the soup kitchen. Sky had told us about the soup kitchen the day before, we had settled on breakfast (lunch? they're open 12 to 1) there. For one reason or another, we meet the girls after we eat. This is the day we 'climb the mountain'.
Climbing the mountain consists of a 30 to 40 minute zig-zaggy (see also: windy [wine-dee]) hike up a forested incline to a smooth rocky perch, where we fired up a nice j, and played some hacky sack.
We hung out all day, smoked alot, played alot of hack, it was another beautiful day in nelson. I think 12 the day we arrived, 14 the day we climbed. We went to this weed store. It was weird.
Now, we walk into this establishment, and you can smell weed. I'm in a little shop, where there's a bunch of pipes and such for sale. On the front porch, which was an open window away, there were people smoking. Jenn lead me around back, and i found a little coffee shop, they sold "munchies". Then past the coffee shop was the doorway onto the front porch (maybe not porch,cause there's a roof, and windows, it's just very outdoorsy), and there was a sign saying you had to be 19 to go in. Inside, there's a window through which you can buy pot, there's a countertop with a tray on it, a bunch of buds in the tray. There's a going rate. Dave buys some, the girls buy some, i'm still freeloading. We are now sitting on the front porch, smoking out of a couple of pipes, there's a sign saying you can't stay for any more then twenty minutes. It's a beautiful little shop. We pack a few bowls, then go play some hack.
I guess we went somewhere for dinner. Drank beers, played pool, foosball, lots of fun. Before wintersleep we smoked some hash, and grabbed a few more drinks at a pub next door to the venue watching the canucks game.
The concert was good, but i dont really have any specific details. We (along with my ottawa buddies) smoked a joint with loel and tim in ottawa. And i talked with tim a bit before the show started, but nothing happened after the show as dave was tired and ready for hay. He was up at like 7, compared to me on my glorious futon with a delicious four more hours of rest. Still pretty lame on his part though.
We slept that night in my dad's girlfriend's house, and bussed back to slocan valley at 5.
Went back in town on wednesday, cause the girls were bussing back home to quebec. We thought we'd go out for lunch and hang out for the afternoon. It all goes according to plan, we smoke a few joints, and walk along the shoreline (bord de leau) to a killer park. I kick a soccer ball around with a few kids, which was pretty fun. I really caught hold of one though, fuck it was good. Drove it about 8 feet to his left, and 3 feet overhead. I kicked it about twice as far as he was from me, but i wasn't getting enough room. I had to let one go. Oooh, it felt soo good. He had to chase it for like 160 seconds, but it was worth it and i dont feel bad and i'd do it again.
Walked the girls back into town, played some hack at the street corner, said our goodbyes, got our hugs, and caught the bus back to slocan valley. Where we spent any number of days (it's hard to keep track when you live in the woods).
And now i'm here, and i have a bus to catch in 5hours20minutes. This post was well worth the few hours of time i lost in sleep.
Oh, and my money problems got solved. I went to H&R block monday and they cut me a cheque for 1800. I paid dave what i had owed him, and we went to the greyhound and bought some tickets to vancouver. The lady there was real nice, she gave us a free layover in kelowna. So we're getting out in kelowna, chilling for a weekend there, and then going on to vancouver.
I couldn't get the ticket on my debit though, the cheque needed 5 days to clear. It'll be ready friday though, cause monday is a holiday. So i again owed dave money. 60 bones.
Oh! and my money problems got solved. Tonight there was a 25 dollar rebuy tourney with my dad and his friends that dave and I took part in. 8 players, a few rebuys, and 50 bucks for second place, leaves me with the 225 buck cash prize. 2 bills of profit.
I give dave 100, 60 for the bus ticket and 40 for half of the half ounce we bought from my dad.
It's 3:12. I've got 1620 in the bank, and 125 in my pocket. In the near future I'm boozing in kelowna, then bussing to vancouver. In vancouver i'm going to be reintroduced to a young lady. I'm eagerly awaiting this meeting. LSD is going to be really something.
Good morning, pei. I'm going to bed.
I suppose it's all too reasonable that the day i discover my acid supply has gone missing is the day i come crashing down to earth. Fuck you sobriety, laughing there, prodding at my raw skin.
3 days ago, on acid, i decided that i'd been smoking too many cigarettes, i didn't really dig them anymore. I've only had 1 in the past two days, and i dont really feel like i need them. I suppose that's progress. It's nothing i didn't think i could do though. It's all too easy, really. Heroin will be much more difficult to come down from. Especially if my life lacks a specific purpose at the time.
It really hurts to have lost the acid though. I'm in a bit of a numb state right now. I only had 12 tabs, but trev and I were going to have 3 each tonight. And then i'd still have 6, which would be good for me and a friend, some other day.
Come to think of it, i really dont feel bad. Numb is the best way to discribe it. With acid i'm experiencing the world, every moment of it. As shards of light pass through me, I can't help but recognise the beauty. Every ounce.
Somewhere soon the sun will set. And i'm totally indifferent. I'd rather drink myself into blackness.
But hey, i'm not going to. Just cause i lack the vigor acid brings me, i'm not going to become completely suicidal. The urge of self distruction never really leaves me, but i'm safe.
I dont know who i'm talking to on this thing. Especially when i have nothing good to say.
As empty as eternity
these hands can't really hold.
if someone's watching over me
i'm sure he thinks i'll grow.
pain is less distracting
then the joys i've felt before
patience in these angry times
will hollow out my soul.
once empty sure the good will come
soon be filled with love of life
cry joyous to the empty sky
sing to the world "unite"
too aware of goodness
that current sadness brings
rather pain felt to the core
then stuck as a hopeful being.
cause you can't deny the truth of pain
joy is never quite as real.
hope stuck inside just dulls the knife
and i would rather feel.
I dont know, chew on that.
I had a great time last night, chasing various girls with a head full of acid and a belly full of wine. I´ve only got 12 tabs left, and i´m supposed to share... so that kinda sucks.
I updated my lyrics page, although it lacks punctuation. Song called something right. I wrote it about jenny, but it was before i made it to vancouver, so i´m not sure if i can really say that. I guess i wrote it about a dream girl, and i was hoping at the time that jenny would fill that role. A role she´s unintentionally filling quite well. She can do better, but i wont get into that.
I might be tossing some words down on the poetry page soon, i've got some sketches of poems. They're practically the same thing.
I´ve met some real good musicians. They´re going to be working for the same company, but at a different camp most of the year. There´s a handful of musicians that will be at my camp, but i haven´t smelled out any serious competition. You might say it´s not a contest, but if i can´t be the best musician in camp, how can i be the best in van city? Dig? Dig.
I think that´s all from me. Peace.
My two weeks in vancouver are done. Tomorrow morning, i'm going to find a bus somewhere. I don't currently have the details.
Somewhere swimming in my beautiful
This is just an update. Impersonal as possible. I'm well. I'll write again from a remote british columbian place. And i'll have some new stories to speak of.
Mike mahar told me once that i'd learn alot from playing acid with guitar.
Too beautiful of a typo. Good night.
The going theory is that i'm the luckiest boy on earth. I invite anybody to prove me wrong on that, but i think the only one that would try to put a case forward would be kent.
Well, kent. Have at 'er. But i'm luckier.
Simon's Day on Acid
I woke up at 11ish. Showered. Figured I aught to have some of the acid i bought the night before. I had planned on buying a whole bunch once i had a taste of the drug, and yesterday these plans came into fruition.
I had planned on a smaller dose this time around, I was planning on a relatively normal day, with minor quirks and above average sensory stimuli. But as it turns out, i did 3 tabs, which was the same as i'd done the first time for a trip through stanely park.
The plan.
I was going to drop acid, and then make it to a sweet falafel place on granville in time to order food without being foolish. It didn't seem like a lofty goal. I had a large chunk of an hour before the drug could really get anywhere with me, and i think it's only 35 minutes to the falafel place. Seeeems easy.
The plan was going frightfully well. It's a beautiful day. Trust me on that. I was soaking up the sun while walking on davie st. I made my way to the falafel place. It was closed.
That's when i realized it was easter sunday. It was hours later before i discovered it was easter monday.
I'm still buzzing from anticipation over the acid. And i'm sure that it hasn't made any huge effect in my ability to deal with outside stimuli. So i eagerly search for a new place to eat. Moments later, i see a falafel place across the street. It's got some corny name, let's call it the falafel zone. And it's street number is 902. Needless to say, this area-code turned culture symbol reaches for me. I passed on it. I mean seriously, falafel zone?
I started walking up some convenient street and found a place that served sushi. I went in to sit. Some nice people helped me find a place.
For whenever it becomes relivant, i had my guitar on my back during this journey.
I ordered food with a professionalism that wreaked of sobriety. hahaha
The restaurant wasn't huge. There was 4 rows of booths. The store was divided down the middle. I was sitting third row from the right. Facing the back of the store. A blond thing sat down, alone, second row from the right. Facing the back. Basically, without the store's division, i would've been seated beside her, looking with her at an empty side of the booth where our companions should have been.
I ask her if she'd like to join me. She declines.
Food arrives, and it's very exciting. I find the pieces of sushi take a very long time to chew. I chalk that up to drugs and try and be patient.
At some time or another, i thank heaven that i'm not currently sitting across from a blond 30ish year old woman on her lunch break. It would've been a disaster. And my choices would have been between telling her i was on acid, or trying to sit still while my mind is swailing.
I eat half of my sushi and walk towards the beach. Getting the second half packaged to go turns out surprisingly easy. I didn't have any trouble communicating. It made me happy.
Back outside. Oooh damn. It feels real good. sunny sunny day.
I made it to the beach (needless to say) and on a sort of beachy outskirt parking lot i sit down to play some guitar. I fire through without you, why me, and probably 5 minutes of random bits of string.
I ate the rest of my sushi there. I had a very pleasant interaction with a 50 year old asian woman who seemed to be there while her son was skateboarding in the parking lot. By a very pleasant interaction i mean a bit of eye contact. And a bit of something that i understood to be gratitude for my existance. i played well. it was earned
Then it was time to move on, and i found a girl sitting on the beach reading, so i joined her. I broke the ice by telling her i was on acid. She was reading Carl Jung, and told me a bit about string theory, and layers of conciousness. It was fascenating. She told me she smokes alot of pot, but hasn't done acid. I tell her that it's really cool, and possibly worth her time. But that it'll find her. Something comforting like that.
I walk along the beach until i'm close to natalie and jenny's appartment. I go.
I had to, really. I didn't have any tobacco on me.
Natalie is very inviting. Jenny is working (which i knew).
Natalie dropped at the same time as me, and while i've been out having adventures she's been going through a sort of mental adventure. A sort of acid trip that i haven't had yet. Mine have all been outdoorsy.
Natalie and I talk a bit about our experiences thus far. Being on acid makes you feel like such a child. Like you're able to see things for the first time again. You feel sooo innocent. And that can translate to insecurity and fear, i would guess. But not for me. I felt wide eyed and full.
Natalie and I go to the beach. It's a lovely place to lay and listen.
After natalie and I found a nice log to rest by, and some nice locals to share our smokes with, i found myself rocking out HARD to delicate, by Damien Rice. I had a 60 year old something or other playing lead, through a battery powered amp, and i was using a 4o year old's acoustic/electric which was plugged into the same amp. And i screamed so hard. Why do you fill my sorrow/with the words you borrowed. Screamed so hard. Why do you sing hallelujia/if it means nothing to ya/why do you sing with me at all.
It felt like a very special time for me. I really screamed. Why.
We came back from the beach a little after 6. I told Natalie that i'd come to take jenny away from her. My intent was apologetic and unflinching. It was likely understood to be acid drivel.
Jenny got home, and we've spent the last 3 hours taking turns on guitar. Singing louder then i ever knew i could. And she kissed me.
the end.
I drank too much last night. That said, i drank just the right amount. I chucked pretty hard, but it was the level of intoxication that i was looking for.
Jenny and I went to the Yale, a pretty neat little bar that has live blues 7 nights a week. And we drank.
I love spending time with this girl. I've been here six days, and i may not be here much longer, but i hope to squeeze every bit of good times into this place, before it's time to pack my bags full of memories and move on.
I may have someone to take with me, though.
----------------
I just like that as an ending. Of course she's not coming planting. But all signs point to a post planting partnership. I've got her signed to a one year deal. I'm also buying 20+ tabs of acid to take north. Bring on the introspection.
I went shopping today. Hot damn, good times.
I got a yamaha F-325, the same as my former F-310, but with considerably better tuning pegs. I got a gig bag, and i got a neat little 75 dollar set of bongos, or congas, or whatever the small ones are called.
They're not as cool as a djembe, but want to get used to hitting two notes. Plus there's a better chance someone else planting will have a djembe.
I'd have a better idea when i'm going to victoria if i'd spoken to one of it's resedent's recently.
Cheers.
Last night was a fucking hurricane. I think i survived though, all critical signs are good. Who would've thought i'd be so unwilling to part with something i've never had.
I got some lyrics written this morning, which was good.
I dont know when i'm going to victoria. Soon though, it'll have to be soon.
Acid is really something. I did it early in the day, 11:30am on tuesday, then walked around stanley park for a while. We (jenny, natalie, myself) were on the beach for a while, then into a woodsy region for some hiking and tree climbing. Then back to a towny beach area for hotdogs. I felt great, and look forward to trying bigger doses. I was told that it's supposed to be alot crazier, but the girls traditionally do it at night and indoors. My experience was very natural. Full of light and trees and activities, as opposed to shadows and doubt and fear.
Maintaining.
Yee there! Folk yyord.
It's 1:27. I remembered, just now, while reading the time, I've got a bus tomorrow morning, at 20 minutes after 8. From nelson to kelowna.
Nelson has been a hell of a time.
I just looked back at my last few posts to see what i've said thus far about my time in nelson, and it appears that my last post was written in kelowna, and that i've said nothing of my misadventures since toronto. For shame!
Well, I got on the bus in toronto in a bit of a sour mood. Dave and I each got our own seats, which was really important for sleeping. This of course was learned taking the greyhound to and from Nashville.
In the outskirts of toronto, before really getting on the road, we stop and pick up 2 passengers. I get one of them. Something of a 6'4" black man. He's got headphones, so there's no conversation there. I look out the window, and dont sleep. Dude gets out somewhere not too bad, before sudbury. I think i manage a bit of shut eye at some point.
In sudbury, two girls get on together, and one of them sits with me. I believe i say hello. If i did say hello, she undoubtably responded similarly, with a french accent.
She puts a backpack (see also: packsack) on her lap, and i read the tag on it. She's going to nelson.
Nelson is one of two cities in bc that i've spent a bunch of time, my dad used to live there. Now he lives about a half hour out of town. It's where i am right now!
So i figure i'll have to talk to this girl about the tag on her knapsack (see: kitbag) and get into a conversation about why she's going to nelson. She's on vacation from work. She's got 2 weeks off. She has friends in nelson.
First things first though, she says, "I'm sorry, i dont know much english."
Which was too bad enough... we never could talk too well, i tried to learn french, she knew limited english.
Anyway, by the time we get to the first rest stop, she gets up, talks to her sister (as dave and i learned soon after with introductions), and askes me, with the universal "i'm hauling on a doob" gesture, whether i'd like to smoke some marajuana. "Yes i do," i say.
We smoke two joints with the two girls, they fix dave and i up with tobacco too (although dave only accepted tobacco until we got into bc, then he quit. He's been good ever since. As long as cigarellos don't count.) About four hours later, we're at another rest stop, and we're invited out for another two joints. We notice at this rest stop, that the girls have a cigarette pack nearly full of joints. I believe the total was found out to be 30. We likely smoked 16 between sudbury and calgary. Shared alot of time with the girls, always ate with them at rest stops, we played some crib, and some jungle speed. I was able to borrow cds and a diskman for two short whiles, etc. They (jenn 23 and marie 19) were our traveling companions, it was rad.
In calgary, where we went our separate ways, i got jenn's email, and had plans to write her if we were going to be going to nelson.
Upon getting to kelowna we learn that my dad will be going to nelson. And we decide to go as well.
When we get to my dad's house in the slocan valley, things are pretty tame, he shows us where our beds are, and we have a pretty relaxed, standard evening. Most of the days in slocan involve an afternoon joint, and some outdoor activities. Outdoor stuff can be walking through the woods, or bocce ball, or frisbee, or tossing a foam football around. Evenings are usually a joint and a few games of crib while supper is cooking and then after dinner, as we continue playing games (other then cribbage, we played alot of wizard, some dominoes, we played risk once, and have had a few games of go) we'll probably have another joint by 9:00. Around 10 we go to the living room, and my dad'll turn on tv, and i'll usually watch, dave'll usually read a book. Sometimes i write.
Our first night in the slocan valley was right on pace with the other 5 or so days we spent there. The next morning, we went into nelson. I had spent some time in nelson last year when i was applying for the music school (check the archives, i think i wrote a good post in there, started with lyrics to a ben folds song. But i've got to say, i dont like when people put lyrics on their blogs so i dont know why i did. I mean, they make alot of sense to the author, and a bit of sense to other people who know the song, but nine times out of ten i can't wade through the poetic lines to find out what the artist is trying to say, let alone what the song means to the author of the post. Tell your best friend what a song means to you, then hand them the lyrics and press play, then they can say, "wow, that really sounds like you... wow, that's so sweet and beautiful. You really are a shattered spirit." Or you can enjoy the song on your own time, and not bother typing out some words that people could search for on google if they wanted to read them. Heh, yeah... so, that post where i did that. Wrote lyrics. It's a post about me in nelson a year ago. On topic.) and while i was here i spent a few nights with a friend that i knew from 2nd year uni in kelowna. So when dave and I get dropped off downtown, i decide we should walk to the house where i slept back then.
Our trip to the house went splendedly. Megan (rediculous cute) walks around the side of the house as we're approaching, she's with a dude and they each have bikes. She recognises me, "simon!" I had to ask her name. I tell her Dave and I are in town for a while, she gives us her phone number and says it's a place to stay, and we should call her about going to the hot springs some time. It's a beautiful invitation by a beautiful lady, but unfortionately, other then later that day, we dont see her again.
Oh yeah, we had been in touch via Gmail with jenn et marie. We had plans to meet up with them this afternoon. We follow through on these plans! The original call was responded to with an invitation to climb a mountain. But that didn't turn out, as we had no wheels. The backup plan is that we walk to the waterfall, smoke some joints, and play some hack in the afternoon, and we go to the bar, play some pool, drink some beers and watch the montreal canadians (the girl's team, no doubt) play hockey at 4:00. When we're down by the waterfall, we meet up with two dudes. Sky - fairly tall, giant dreadlocks, huge beard, lived in nelson all 28 years of his life (if i heard correctly). and Dave - native guy, didn't talk too too much, was really polite, seemed like a thoughtful guy. As we leave the waterfall these guys give us a tour of town.
First place we stop at is fluid. I go up to the window to read the listings for shows. Shocking. There's a show on monday. Contrived, Jill Barber, and Wintersleep. $6. At the time, this meant tomorrow night. Of course we went.
Sky keeps talking, keeps pointing out places, talking about the town. At my request he shows me a place where there's an acoustic open jam. I figure that i can probably go there and borrow a guitar to play a few tunes. And as it turns out, i can.
But first we go to the bar for beer and hockey. We discover foosball. I'm giddy with excitement.
My spirits come crashing down to earth when Dave and Marie beat Jenn and I 8-0. I'll not go into too much game by game details, but (because i know there will be some readers interested in foosball) i feel i must say that as the nelson experience continued i more then made up for the embarassing opening game.
I dont remember. I think montreal won.
After the game we go to the open mic spot. I ask the dude when things are starting up, i tell him i want to play some songs, and that i dont have a guitar. He says he'll do a few, to get things going, then i can play a few. He follows his end of the deal, plays 4. I play 5. Without You, Why Me, Aim&Shoot/TooKind, Lover I Don't Have to Love, and Take Me Down. I guess i kinda played six; the merging of aim&shoot and too kind must've been 6 minutes. But that's not too long. Plus, i recently used a semi-colon correctly.
Oh, i called Megan from the bar where hockey was on, and she said we could stay there. That she would be somewhere else that night, but she'd leave out blankets and such.
After open mic, dave and I walk the girls home, and walk to megans, leroy is awake, just heading to bed, and he shows us to our couches (dave got a couch, i got a futon.) I wake up at 11ish, possibly a little on the hungover side. Dave and I walk downtown to call the girls from a payphone. We dont get an answer, so we decide to meet them at the soup kitchen. Sky had told us about the soup kitchen the day before, we had settled on breakfast (lunch? they're open 12 to 1) there. For one reason or another, we meet the girls after we eat. This is the day we 'climb the mountain'.
Climbing the mountain consists of a 30 to 40 minute zig-zaggy (see also: windy [wine-dee]) hike up a forested incline to a smooth rocky perch, where we fired up a nice j, and played some hacky sack.
We hung out all day, smoked alot, played alot of hack, it was another beautiful day in nelson. I think 12 the day we arrived, 14 the day we climbed. We went to this weed store. It was weird.
Now, we walk into this establishment, and you can smell weed. I'm in a little shop, where there's a bunch of pipes and such for sale. On the front porch, which was an open window away, there were people smoking. Jenn lead me around back, and i found a little coffee shop, they sold "munchies". Then past the coffee shop was the doorway onto the front porch (maybe not porch,cause there's a roof, and windows, it's just very outdoorsy), and there was a sign saying you had to be 19 to go in. Inside, there's a window through which you can buy pot, there's a countertop with a tray on it, a bunch of buds in the tray. There's a going rate. Dave buys some, the girls buy some, i'm still freeloading. We are now sitting on the front porch, smoking out of a couple of pipes, there's a sign saying you can't stay for any more then twenty minutes. It's a beautiful little shop. We pack a few bowls, then go play some hack.
I guess we went somewhere for dinner. Drank beers, played pool, foosball, lots of fun. Before wintersleep we smoked some hash, and grabbed a few more drinks at a pub next door to the venue watching the canucks game.
The concert was good, but i dont really have any specific details. We (along with my ottawa buddies) smoked a joint with loel and tim in ottawa. And i talked with tim a bit before the show started, but nothing happened after the show as dave was tired and ready for hay. He was up at like 7, compared to me on my glorious futon with a delicious four more hours of rest. Still pretty lame on his part though.
We slept that night in my dad's girlfriend's house, and bussed back to slocan valley at 5.
Went back in town on wednesday, cause the girls were bussing back home to quebec. We thought we'd go out for lunch and hang out for the afternoon. It all goes according to plan, we smoke a few joints, and walk along the shoreline (bord de leau) to a killer park. I kick a soccer ball around with a few kids, which was pretty fun. I really caught hold of one though, fuck it was good. Drove it about 8 feet to his left, and 3 feet overhead. I kicked it about twice as far as he was from me, but i wasn't getting enough room. I had to let one go. Oooh, it felt soo good. He had to chase it for like 160 seconds, but it was worth it and i dont feel bad and i'd do it again.
Walked the girls back into town, played some hack at the street corner, said our goodbyes, got our hugs, and caught the bus back to slocan valley. Where we spent any number of days (it's hard to keep track when you live in the woods).
And now i'm here, and i have a bus to catch in 5hours20minutes. This post was well worth the few hours of time i lost in sleep.
Oh, and my money problems got solved. I went to H&R block monday and they cut me a cheque for 1800. I paid dave what i had owed him, and we went to the greyhound and bought some tickets to vancouver. The lady there was real nice, she gave us a free layover in kelowna. So we're getting out in kelowna, chilling for a weekend there, and then going on to vancouver.
I couldn't get the ticket on my debit though, the cheque needed 5 days to clear. It'll be ready friday though, cause monday is a holiday. So i again owed dave money. 60 bones.
Oh! and my money problems got solved. Tonight there was a 25 dollar rebuy tourney with my dad and his friends that dave and I took part in. 8 players, a few rebuys, and 50 bucks for second place, leaves me with the 225 buck cash prize. 2 bills of profit.
I give dave 100, 60 for the bus ticket and 40 for half of the half ounce we bought from my dad.
It's 3:12. I've got 1620 in the bank, and 125 in my pocket. In the near future I'm boozing in kelowna, then bussing to vancouver. In vancouver i'm going to be reintroduced to a young lady. I'm eagerly awaiting this meeting. LSD is going to be really something.
Good morning, pei. I'm going to bed.