I got back from Two Hours Traffic a little over an hour ago. Let me just say that I had a wonderful evening. Frig. I enjoyed every part of everything. The opening bands were really great. And Two Hours put on an excellent show. I really liked it when the power went out, and the song continued acoustic. It's such a typical thing to happen in a little venue, but it had every bit of charm that you'd expect.
As with every time I see live music, I left the show inspired. Upon arriving home, I grabbed my acoustic, and headed to the laundry room in the basement. The place where I dont wake up my mom. And damn, I played through all 14 of my tunes. In my favorite order, chronological. After the first song, I figured it was a good idea to grab a beer from the upstairs fridge. And I had a fucking great time. And I'm good. Fuck pride, I'm fucking good. I'm going to call Rowan tomorrow. And as much as it pains me to say it (although patience seems to become me) I think I need a rhythm section to play at a bar. Even if that rhythm section was just a hand drum. And a hand drummer. Cough cough.
If anyone has a hand drum, I'd love to borrow it. Possibly for several months, but any amount of time would be nice.
Good night, gentle folk.
I've learned an appreciation for meditation. It's definately something that I didn't really know about. I thought it was all about chanting this or that, or breathing in this or that mannor. But what I think I've found is that it's simply sitting still doing nothing. Don't listen to music, don't write anything down, don't do anything. That's all it takes. Thoughts will enter your head, and they'll ask for attention. Don't worry the thoughts, just let them go. The idea is not to gather important thoughts, it is to think nothing.
I'd like to sit still doing nothing for about twenty minutes a day, but i dont. My mind, like everyone else's, is just very excitable. It is alot more comfortable watching tv, or reading, or playing solitare. At this point I am going to add sitting still doing nothing to my list of things to do. Just that and writing. I know I can spare 40 minutes a day for that.
I didn't do a great job of writing every day though. Although I do write more days then not, every day is still a step farther. It's oh so possible, too.
Also, I haven't been posting much. I'm feel that I have nothing to say. But I like frequent posts. We'll have to see if there's any changes.
Much love.
I'm sick. I decided that in order to get better, i will stop eating for a bit. Let my body clean itself out. I'll let you know how it works. I got Juiceman Jr. from my aunt. I'm going to use it, when my fast is done, or at least another day older. Carrot juice is really good for you.
Thats all.
There's four others that are in motion right now. Oh You, Battle On, Stop Crying, and one tentatively titled, bizarre. I'm pretty excited about the potential of Oh You. Battle On and Bizarre have too much work left to do for me to be excited about them (which isn't to say Oh You doesn't need tons of work, it's just that the shape is visible). Stop Crying is good, but it's lacking on the verse front. And it kind of bugs me that i feel like the prechorus (although not as good) comes across stronger then the chorus. But i feel the same way about K'Naan's "If Rap Gets Jealous" and that song still works out.
I wrote a bunch of stuff down two days ago. It wasn't poetic/lyrical. It was what i wanted to write about, what sort of effect i wanted my lyrics to have. Climax was as follows.
"I believe in the power of one. Not to do things for the whole world, but for people to do things for themselves. Everyone can be happy."
And to conclude, "I think first i aughta finish my angst rock album."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I played cards tonight, and damn did i have a great evening. Winning 35 didn't hurt. But all that took was smart conservative play. And the occasional cards, of course. I won the five dollar buy-in tourney, and doubled up my 10 dollar buy-in during the ring game. Fun stuff. Good Croud too, one guy was bummed out after losing a few hands. But everyone else seemed in really good spirits all night. I love that. The game was more about having fun playing cards, then how much up or down you were. That was my take on it, anyway.
I finished reading Sirens of Titan, and i've started On the Road. It came highly recommended. Monday I picked up 3 books, On the Road and The Inner Game of Tennis (dave, it's for you) from the library. And a biography of Jim Morrison from the bookstore. I've got lots of quality shit to read. And i'm glad.
Good night.
Taking a page out of liz's book. I'm going to write a list. Appropriately titled: The winter list.
1. Write words every day.
that is all for now. What an unfortionate list. I'll add to it if I can.
Essentially, I'll pack a bag of clothes, a book or two, and my guitar, and I'll head west. Travel will either be via hitchhike (although i've heard it's cold in the winter) or bus. Or lifts, if i can find them. I've got a couch that i could sleep on in a number of cities. From east to west, i'm looking to get some shut eye in Lennoxville, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Hamilton, Winnipeg, Calgary, Kelowna, Vancouver, Victoria, and Nanaimo.
Some of these places arent necessarily confirmed. I haven't talked to my friends in Montreal, so i'm not sure if that's possible. Ray lives there too, i've heard. Ray would probably be good for it if Josh's roommates dont seem the type for drop-ins. Which wouldn't be unheard of.
I'm not sure if anyone i know actually lives in Winnipeg. There's this girl that i planted trees with, and she was super cool. She gave me her email. I haven't written her yet. She definately lives between Ontario and BC, she doesn't definately have a place for me to sleep. Actually, now that i think a bit, i'm nearly certain she lives in saskatoon. Anyway, we seemed to enjoy eachother's company, so I'd like to be there for a bit.
Calgary and/or Edmonton are fairly vague as well. I know a girl who lives in calgary. I stayed at her house actually. For a number of days. She planted with us for a while. Cool girl, named Nicole. A pre-emptive email would probably be all that's necessary, but I certainly can't guarentee things on her behalf. I spent two weeks in edmonton. I have some people on msn. That's all. Janelle is moving to Calgary too, for what it's worth.
The first major stop is going to be southern ontario (ottawa, toronto, hamilton). And i think i know what you're thinking. Why hamilton? Well, Ian lives there, he's a quality dude. He slept on my floor in kelowna for a week. It worked out excelently. He sent out an email saying that he would be living in hamilton to go to med school, and that he had a couch for passers by. That's not something i'm going to pass up. I know i enjoy his company and vice versa. There's several places i could stay in toronto (and might i add, they will all be excelent), and probably just one in ottawa. But I'd be welcome in that one place. In that I've lived with a high percentage of the occupants before.
Next major stop is Kelowna. Family. Friends. Other friends. I have two cores of solid friends there, developed through 02/03 and 04/05 respectively. And although i haven't asked, i'm sure i could live in the spare bedroom at the family home. They like me. It's mutual. I'd have a good setup there.
And south western bc is the next major stop. Chris is in vancouver. As is a miss Jenny Christensen. The whole scene sounds classy. I think Ash (mr boss man, as he liked to be called) lives there too. It's a shame he doesn't read this blog, cause he's probably one of 4 people who would get a kick out of me saying that. The other 3 probably dont read this either. Fuck 'em.
Victoria has a smattering of people. Colin Cook is in the area. And since non of you know him, I'll leave you with two simple words: golden god. Too much? absolutely. But he's a great guy. Friend of all that are good. I might be able to stumble into one Dorian Locke while on the island. That crazy son of my aunt aught to enjoy my company. And i his. Dude named Stephan that i jammed with in 02/03 lives out there, i think. I might find him. Who knows. Who cares? I dont.
Nanaimo is where Michelle lives. Cool girl. She lived a floor above in residence. She's been in new zealand for the past 8 months or something. All very cool stuff, she'll be fun to catch up with. I talked to her recently, told her about the trip, and she's keen on the drop by.
So, there you have it. My spring. Probably a good 2-3 months of it. Am i excited? yes.
I was telling chris about it today. Saying that i was going to bring a bag with clothes and books and my guitar. I said that i'd probably try to play some shows while i was out. He said it sounded like a tour. He also said that i aughta have a name for my tour next time i talked to him. This of course sounds really cool. I've sang pretty hard every day recently. It feels right. And it'll smooth out.
I need a cd by the time i go on tour, so i can have something to offer people. I think it'll have a full band behind me. Although i dont know who the band will be. It'd be nice for people to hear me alone on stage and then be able to enjoy a full band on disk. Dispite not knowing who will play with me on cd, I've a place to record, and that's likely more then half the battle.
Fun Fun Fun. Time for bed.
I had a bit of a thought last night about how much better i need to get. Mostly due to a quality performer that came on a few people after me. He was from newfoundland. Had a solid voice, wrote solid songs. It's just that he wasnt' THAT good. He wasn't as good as i want to be. And i couldn't say for sure if i was better then him. He (and I) was just writing songs, cause it's fun to write songs. Is there a chance that he's going to become a popular musician? I would say no. So what makes me think it's possible that i will? I dont know. Hope, i guess. I have an idea of how driven i am. I think that even if i get no encouragement, whatsoever, i'm willing to put about five years into this music thing.
This year - Write. Play for people. Sing. singsingisnigisngisgnisgnisng. A whole bunch. Love singing. Voice has, does, and probably will continue to be the defining instrument to music's popularity. Call me proud, but i want to be popular. I want people to want to hear me, and to take something from what i've written. Also, i need to have some experiences. Things i want to translate into music. Live first.
Next year - Back to BC. Live in Nelson. Go to music school. Work hard at it. Fairly antisocial life. Nelson is not a big town. Guitar and theory will take care of itself through school. Write. Sing. Learn the glory of playing with people. Play a bit of keys.
Year 3 - Second year of degree. Play with people. Learn. Live. Write about it. Keep playing music with people that can remind me how much better there is to be. Still playing keys, natch. Still living an antisocial life while at school. Taking in music theory like a hoover. Know the notes, how to use them.
Year 4 - Band. Travel. Europe? Definately head around canada. Just fucking tour. Live it up.
Year 5 - Write songs. Songs about touring troubles. Songs about love. Songs that mean something to me. Throw down album number two. Either play it around home, or do the canada thing again. Maybe open for an awesome band playing big shows. I think that'd be fun.
Those last two sentances require encouragement, so they might not happen. But as far as i can tell, the rest is up to me. And that's great.
So then i'm 27, and i'm going to university. Taking a few math courses, some philosophy. Thinking i'll become a teacher. Not unlike when i was 17. Not bad. Sounds like a good life.
In order to be a famous, influential rockstar, do i need to die young? I've recently become very interested in Jim Morrison. My world will always love lennon more then mccartney.
---------------------------part 2-----------------------------------
Last night was a good bit of fun.
Kent's last night on the island. We were supposed to go to breakfast this morning, but he either didn't call, or i didn't answer. The phone was on my bedside table, so a ring should've been enough to get my attention. Leaving bed at noon was a great thing for my body though. I actually felt quite good.
I wrote something down in a notebook on the bus trip from saskatoon to ottawa. It is as follows.
I didn't wait this long to be monogamous, I waited so I would be strong enough to handle all that I desire.
So there's that. Also, i just put on a tshirt that my mom bought for me. It says "deep down I'm pretty superficial".
I drunkenly told dave once that i didn't believe in manogamy. But that's what we live in now. Maybe it's just pei. Maybe it's just in my head. But i feel like people are either dating exclusively, or they're not dating. What happened to 'going steady'? I dont think archie comics taught me that expression for nothing. I just want to live a little. I just want to walk down. I just want to spend time with people that make me happy, without worrying about how the people i'm not with would feel about it. And the worst thing, is that i can do that. Of course i can. But i probably wont, cause hurting people makes me feel bad. Even if they're only hurt by their own misguided expectations.
So there's that.
As with every time I see live music, I left the show inspired. Upon arriving home, I grabbed my acoustic, and headed to the laundry room in the basement. The place where I dont wake up my mom. And damn, I played through all 14 of my tunes. In my favorite order, chronological. After the first song, I figured it was a good idea to grab a beer from the upstairs fridge. And I had a fucking great time. And I'm good. Fuck pride, I'm fucking good. I'm going to call Rowan tomorrow. And as much as it pains me to say it (although patience seems to become me) I think I need a rhythm section to play at a bar. Even if that rhythm section was just a hand drum. And a hand drummer. Cough cough.
If anyone has a hand drum, I'd love to borrow it. Possibly for several months, but any amount of time would be nice.
Good night, gentle folk.
It's 9:43, and I'm going to bed. A very early bed time for yours truly. I didn't sleep that much last night, I played frisbee for a few hours this afternoon, and dodgeball for a few more hours this evening.
I've learned an appreciation for meditation. It's definately something that I didn't really know about. I thought it was all about chanting this or that, or breathing in this or that mannor. But what I think I've found is that it's simply sitting still doing nothing. Don't listen to music, don't write anything down, don't do anything. That's all it takes. Thoughts will enter your head, and they'll ask for attention. Don't worry the thoughts, just let them go. The idea is not to gather important thoughts, it is to think nothing.
I'd like to sit still doing nothing for about twenty minutes a day, but i dont. My mind, like everyone else's, is just very excitable. It is alot more comfortable watching tv, or reading, or playing solitare. At this point I am going to add sitting still doing nothing to my list of things to do. Just that and writing. I know I can spare 40 minutes a day for that.
I didn't do a great job of writing every day though. Although I do write more days then not, every day is still a step farther. It's oh so possible, too.
Also, I haven't been posting much. I'm feel that I have nothing to say. But I like frequent posts. We'll have to see if there's any changes.
Much love.
I saw What the Bleep Do We Know yesterday. Darn it's a good movie. It reminded me of Kate. I think the thoughts that the movie writers threw out are similar (in scale, not content) to the thoughts that i had during the best conversations i'd had with Kate. Also, i think she'd like the movie. You might like it also, you aughta see it, anyway, just to try.
I'm sick. I decided that in order to get better, i will stop eating for a bit. Let my body clean itself out. I'll let you know how it works. I got Juiceman Jr. from my aunt. I'm going to use it, when my fast is done, or at least another day older. Carrot juice is really good for you.
Thats all.
Writing every day has been treating me well. I'm almost done song number thirteen, Kissing Sober. The second verse has never been correctly remembered during play, and the third isn't concrete, but the song still feels alright, dispite not having a chorus.
There's four others that are in motion right now. Oh You, Battle On, Stop Crying, and one tentatively titled, bizarre. I'm pretty excited about the potential of Oh You. Battle On and Bizarre have too much work left to do for me to be excited about them (which isn't to say Oh You doesn't need tons of work, it's just that the shape is visible). Stop Crying is good, but it's lacking on the verse front. And it kind of bugs me that i feel like the prechorus (although not as good) comes across stronger then the chorus. But i feel the same way about K'Naan's "If Rap Gets Jealous" and that song still works out.
I wrote a bunch of stuff down two days ago. It wasn't poetic/lyrical. It was what i wanted to write about, what sort of effect i wanted my lyrics to have. Climax was as follows.
"I believe in the power of one. Not to do things for the whole world, but for people to do things for themselves. Everyone can be happy."
And to conclude, "I think first i aughta finish my angst rock album."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I played cards tonight, and damn did i have a great evening. Winning 35 didn't hurt. But all that took was smart conservative play. And the occasional cards, of course. I won the five dollar buy-in tourney, and doubled up my 10 dollar buy-in during the ring game. Fun stuff. Good Croud too, one guy was bummed out after losing a few hands. But everyone else seemed in really good spirits all night. I love that. The game was more about having fun playing cards, then how much up or down you were. That was my take on it, anyway.
I finished reading Sirens of Titan, and i've started On the Road. It came highly recommended. Monday I picked up 3 books, On the Road and The Inner Game of Tennis (dave, it's for you) from the library. And a biography of Jim Morrison from the bookstore. I've got lots of quality shit to read. And i'm glad.
Good night.
Is it better to have a good time or to accomplish something? Can it be both without sacrificing the full potential of each? I've heard that experiencing pain can help someone create something beautiful. I've been training myself to either avoid pain, or to not see negative situations as such. How's that going to effect my creativity. I dont want to lie to you and say that i'm hurting.
Taking a page out of liz's book. I'm going to write a list. Appropriately titled: The winter list.
1. Write words every day.
that is all for now. What an unfortionate list. I'll add to it if I can.
I've been telling alot of people about my trip. I'm very excited about it. I have alot of people to visit, and alot of time to visit them. I hope I have enough money to do what it is that i wish to do. And i think i will.
Essentially, I'll pack a bag of clothes, a book or two, and my guitar, and I'll head west. Travel will either be via hitchhike (although i've heard it's cold in the winter) or bus. Or lifts, if i can find them. I've got a couch that i could sleep on in a number of cities. From east to west, i'm looking to get some shut eye in Lennoxville, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Hamilton, Winnipeg, Calgary, Kelowna, Vancouver, Victoria, and Nanaimo.
Some of these places arent necessarily confirmed. I haven't talked to my friends in Montreal, so i'm not sure if that's possible. Ray lives there too, i've heard. Ray would probably be good for it if Josh's roommates dont seem the type for drop-ins. Which wouldn't be unheard of.
I'm not sure if anyone i know actually lives in Winnipeg. There's this girl that i planted trees with, and she was super cool. She gave me her email. I haven't written her yet. She definately lives between Ontario and BC, she doesn't definately have a place for me to sleep. Actually, now that i think a bit, i'm nearly certain she lives in saskatoon. Anyway, we seemed to enjoy eachother's company, so I'd like to be there for a bit.
Calgary and/or Edmonton are fairly vague as well. I know a girl who lives in calgary. I stayed at her house actually. For a number of days. She planted with us for a while. Cool girl, named Nicole. A pre-emptive email would probably be all that's necessary, but I certainly can't guarentee things on her behalf. I spent two weeks in edmonton. I have some people on msn. That's all. Janelle is moving to Calgary too, for what it's worth.
The first major stop is going to be southern ontario (ottawa, toronto, hamilton). And i think i know what you're thinking. Why hamilton? Well, Ian lives there, he's a quality dude. He slept on my floor in kelowna for a week. It worked out excelently. He sent out an email saying that he would be living in hamilton to go to med school, and that he had a couch for passers by. That's not something i'm going to pass up. I know i enjoy his company and vice versa. There's several places i could stay in toronto (and might i add, they will all be excelent), and probably just one in ottawa. But I'd be welcome in that one place. In that I've lived with a high percentage of the occupants before.
Next major stop is Kelowna. Family. Friends. Other friends. I have two cores of solid friends there, developed through 02/03 and 04/05 respectively. And although i haven't asked, i'm sure i could live in the spare bedroom at the family home. They like me. It's mutual. I'd have a good setup there.
And south western bc is the next major stop. Chris is in vancouver. As is a miss Jenny Christensen. The whole scene sounds classy. I think Ash (mr boss man, as he liked to be called) lives there too. It's a shame he doesn't read this blog, cause he's probably one of 4 people who would get a kick out of me saying that. The other 3 probably dont read this either. Fuck 'em.
Victoria has a smattering of people. Colin Cook is in the area. And since non of you know him, I'll leave you with two simple words: golden god. Too much? absolutely. But he's a great guy. Friend of all that are good. I might be able to stumble into one Dorian Locke while on the island. That crazy son of my aunt aught to enjoy my company. And i his. Dude named Stephan that i jammed with in 02/03 lives out there, i think. I might find him. Who knows. Who cares? I dont.
Nanaimo is where Michelle lives. Cool girl. She lived a floor above in residence. She's been in new zealand for the past 8 months or something. All very cool stuff, she'll be fun to catch up with. I talked to her recently, told her about the trip, and she's keen on the drop by.
So, there you have it. My spring. Probably a good 2-3 months of it. Am i excited? yes.
I was telling chris about it today. Saying that i was going to bring a bag with clothes and books and my guitar. I said that i'd probably try to play some shows while i was out. He said it sounded like a tour. He also said that i aughta have a name for my tour next time i talked to him. This of course sounds really cool. I've sang pretty hard every day recently. It feels right. And it'll smooth out.
I need a cd by the time i go on tour, so i can have something to offer people. I think it'll have a full band behind me. Although i dont know who the band will be. It'd be nice for people to hear me alone on stage and then be able to enjoy a full band on disk. Dispite not knowing who will play with me on cd, I've a place to record, and that's likely more then half the battle.
Fun Fun Fun. Time for bed.
Open mic was good. Really good. Shan's got a fucking hell of a voice on her. For those of you who weren't there, a large large chunk of croud was there in support of shannon and myself. Every time shan and i finished a song, there was an erruption of applause. It was kind of cool.
I had a bit of a thought last night about how much better i need to get. Mostly due to a quality performer that came on a few people after me. He was from newfoundland. Had a solid voice, wrote solid songs. It's just that he wasnt' THAT good. He wasn't as good as i want to be. And i couldn't say for sure if i was better then him. He (and I) was just writing songs, cause it's fun to write songs. Is there a chance that he's going to become a popular musician? I would say no. So what makes me think it's possible that i will? I dont know. Hope, i guess. I have an idea of how driven i am. I think that even if i get no encouragement, whatsoever, i'm willing to put about five years into this music thing.
This year - Write. Play for people. Sing. singsingisnigisngisgnisgnisng. A whole bunch. Love singing. Voice has, does, and probably will continue to be the defining instrument to music's popularity. Call me proud, but i want to be popular. I want people to want to hear me, and to take something from what i've written. Also, i need to have some experiences. Things i want to translate into music. Live first.
Next year - Back to BC. Live in Nelson. Go to music school. Work hard at it. Fairly antisocial life. Nelson is not a big town. Guitar and theory will take care of itself through school. Write. Sing. Learn the glory of playing with people. Play a bit of keys.
Year 3 - Second year of degree. Play with people. Learn. Live. Write about it. Keep playing music with people that can remind me how much better there is to be. Still playing keys, natch. Still living an antisocial life while at school. Taking in music theory like a hoover. Know the notes, how to use them.
Year 4 - Band. Travel. Europe? Definately head around canada. Just fucking tour. Live it up.
Year 5 - Write songs. Songs about touring troubles. Songs about love. Songs that mean something to me. Throw down album number two. Either play it around home, or do the canada thing again. Maybe open for an awesome band playing big shows. I think that'd be fun.
Those last two sentances require encouragement, so they might not happen. But as far as i can tell, the rest is up to me. And that's great.
So then i'm 27, and i'm going to university. Taking a few math courses, some philosophy. Thinking i'll become a teacher. Not unlike when i was 17. Not bad. Sounds like a good life.
In order to be a famous, influential rockstar, do i need to die young? I've recently become very interested in Jim Morrison. My world will always love lennon more then mccartney.
---------------------------part 2-----------------------------------
Last night was a good bit of fun.
Kent's last night on the island. We were supposed to go to breakfast this morning, but he either didn't call, or i didn't answer. The phone was on my bedside table, so a ring should've been enough to get my attention. Leaving bed at noon was a great thing for my body though. I actually felt quite good.
I wrote something down in a notebook on the bus trip from saskatoon to ottawa. It is as follows.
I didn't wait this long to be monogamous, I waited so I would be strong enough to handle all that I desire.
So there's that. Also, i just put on a tshirt that my mom bought for me. It says "deep down I'm pretty superficial".
I drunkenly told dave once that i didn't believe in manogamy. But that's what we live in now. Maybe it's just pei. Maybe it's just in my head. But i feel like people are either dating exclusively, or they're not dating. What happened to 'going steady'? I dont think archie comics taught me that expression for nothing. I just want to live a little. I just want to walk down. I just want to spend time with people that make me happy, without worrying about how the people i'm not with would feel about it. And the worst thing, is that i can do that. Of course i can. But i probably wont, cause hurting people makes me feel bad. Even if they're only hurt by their own misguided expectations.
So there's that.