It's time for the Twenty First Annual Simon's Year in Review. Now in it's first year of publication.
note: at the age of 6 months i was incapable of giving a complete year in review, so i put it off twelve months.
I hope you liked those capital letters on the first line, cause this thing is gonna get a whole lot less flashy. Dig? Word.
My favorite movies this year were The Increadables, Napolean Dinamite, Garden State, and last but the farthest from least, Ray. If you haven't seen Ray, you should. That goes for the other movies too, but Ray was my favorite. Napolean and Garden can be notched at second, if you're looking for rankings, they were both great flicks.
I listened to alot of music this year that existed before '04, so i'll jot that down now. The weakerthans are probably my favorite band that i didn't know until recently. Left and Leaving is an amazing album. Zero 7 is good. Not amazing, but quite good. I call them groove music. I wrote them second cause i couldn't think of anything else right away. Belle and Sabastien, diggin' it. It's light and it's poppy and it's pleasant to listen to. Dear Catastrophe Waitress, released in '03 is my favorite EP thus far. Bright Eyes is another band which has just recently crossed paths with my ears. And it's been very nice. Lifted, is the album that I've dug most. Death Cab for Cutie is really good. Really very good. Give them a once over, then a twice over. Making three total. The Lawnchairs are decent, they kinda sound like muse, if they wanted to drop the heaviness and speed of their play, and just settle into some neat melodic rock.
The albums which have come out in 2004 that are worth a listen:
William Shatner: Has Been - I am fully digging this album. It's really quite good. I kid you not. Full of good advice like, "Live life like you're going to die, because you're going to." Published by the Messiah-esc Ben Folds, 'Has Been' is full of good music, and thoughtful words spoken by William Shatner. And unlike Shatner's previous releases, this one is presented in a way that sends out a powerful message, yet still embrases the idea of it's being a joke. Full marks. 4.5/5
Iron & Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days - I would recommend that before listening to Endless, you first listen to Iron's first album, The Creek Drank the Cradle. Creek is very touching, it feels like he's singing and playing for you. I first heard it with headphones while waiting for sleep, and he drew a tear to my eye. No shit. Endless is probably a better made album, it's a bit of a fuller sound, and the hooks are catchier and stick to your inner ear a bit more often, but i think i was able to appreciate it alot more, after falling for the caring delivery that Creek gave me. No rating. I just did the Shatner rating cause i thought it was funny to say full marks then give a mark that wasn't full. Hardy har har.
The Arcade Fire: Funeral - Fab. Talk about a debut album, Funeral has an amazing opening track, and possibly even more of a stand out in their second track. Not hard to be reeled in quickly. Give'r a listen, and dig.
The Used: In Love and Death: This album made me sad. Why would a band with such a strong and emotive debut decide to be more like good charlotte? The used first album sounds like it was written for someone who goes out for a run at midnight and screams along with the lyrics, the second album sounds like it was written for a 15 year old girl, who has a 'Used' poster on her wall, and who likes to dream the words are being sung about her while kissing her cd case. So very sad and angry this made me. Even the parts with screaming sound forced, like the producer thought "okay, we'll have to give something to those 'heavy metal' fans out there too". Sad and angry. 2/18 -> 1/9
Stars: Set Yourself On Fire - my first chance to listen to the stars, and it was this album. And it totally floated my moccasins. It's just really really good. 4/5 i'd say. But if i was listening to it right now, i'd bump it up to a 4.2, cause when i'm listening to music it has more of a hold on me. This album does a real good job with both a male and female singer. It's really quite excelent. 4.2 might not be enough. Just give it a listen, figure it out yourself. It's light rock, if you're curious.
Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Like Bad News - I love this album. It was my introduction to modest mouse. It's really a quality cd. It seems to have alot of pop elements, it's very easy to listen to, but I feel like i still has a signature edge to it. Perhaps not as much of an edge as previous modest mouse albums, but it's still there. And it's still sharp. For some insane reason, my roommate pat absolutely hates this album, he thinks they "sold out" because they signed a new "record deal" and got to make a "video". The first time i tried to play it, he didn't say anything, he just burnt one of their older cds off, stopped mine, and put the new one on. So i only play Good News when he's not home. I hope he doesn't read this, or else he'll surely break my copy. 15/18.5
That's all, baby.
This year was also the year i dropped out of school, found God (shwaaa?), started reading recreationally (wtf?), made wine (brackets!), got a harmonica, started playing the blues, and started paying back my student loan.
Everyone have a good night tonight. Safety first!
Contrairy to the previous paragraph, I'm actually in quite a good mood. I'm just really pissed at myself. Self 1, for those of us who have read The Inner Game of Tennis.
While i'm expecting things to happen, i am removing responsibility from myself to actually work hard and do it. I'm wanting to do more and more and more, and i'm succeeding at nothing, because i'm too busy living in my dream world of possibilities. I'm not going to tell you that i'm going to get off my ass and do something that i want to do. Because i'm tired of telling you that.
So yeah, i'll see ya when i see ya.
And I'm sorry I care that I look really young,
my eyes are too small, I'm too lazy to run.
I honestly thought that I meant it last time
But I'm staying the same, I'm sorry.
I came back from my uncle's house today. I spent the last few nights since christmas there. I really was happy to be back here, as dirty as this place is. My roommate pat put up a website to show off our little corner of the world. http://www.eatingdogs.com/whereilive if i'm not mistaken. I'll check before publish though. Note: I was mistaken, i made the necessary changes though.
Mayhaps it doesn't work all the time. It's not working right now, for example. But be patient with it, try it in a few days.
I think the last post i made was a waste of everyone's time and/or money. Or maybe i just give my other posts too much credit in believing them to each be little life changing experiences for everyone.
I'm excited to see what happens in the next little while.
It's some different away from home, I'll tell ya. There's alot more people and alot more booze. I got a harmonica, a few books, and some coin. The books are flippin stellar though, i'm psyched to read. I'm also psyched about the harmonica, and the slide i got. I'm also psyched about paying rent.
I also got tarot cards. Pretty slick, I'd say. Aine has them, maybe I can learn a few tricks of the trade from her.
I'm realizing the lack of value in this post. It's quite unvaluable. Devaluable. Invaluable!
Third time is a charm, i hear. Although invaluable might mean the same thing as priceless. I have ways of finding out, but i wont bother. Lame-O.
I hope that everyone is having fun doing what they do. I'm still doing things and waiting for things to happen. It's all okay.
Good Night.
The whole episode just further proves that the only thing capable of disapointing me is my own expectations. Cheers.
Patrick talked to me a little while ago about listening to Zero 7 on the bus. He said it was really really great, but he felt kinda like he was cheating. We've both got huge amounts of bands and albums that we are trying to make an effort to listen to. I fully understood Pat thinking he should've used the time to listen to something he hadn't heard before, instead of settling into the comforts of a known love.
But today, when memories of this conversation arose in me, I found a problem with striving for new experiences, self realization, and self discovery.
And the problem is a complete lack of innocence.
This post will contain excerpts from a lengthy conversation with the Dave. Buckle up.
First section: The topic of Avril releasing a CD for the holiday's came up.
- I drew the line at Hanukkah: I Think It's About Jews
- "Lovin' that pointy candle thing"
- "let me spin your dredle" was just inappropriate.
- and over 20 minutes long.
- "Jesus aint no thang (wait for the messiah)" was a surprise hit.
- "chillin with mo in my cave"
- "Lose the foreskin (then we'll talk)"
- "Take it into the rectory"
- "Ten Commandments (thou shalt get down and party)"
- "I'm Spreading Jesus' Love All Over the World (Get Down on it)"
- "Don't Need yo' Sausage"
- "I'll Stuff Your Turkey (With Love)"
- I'd love to write a novelty album. Like, an album that creed would be really proud of.
- "Don't be a pharaoh (stay in school)
- Staff to snake (and back again)
- "dumpster diving for love (I hate my father)"
- Santa's on the roof (and he's ruining my reception)
- "empty stockings (he was hung like an elf)"
- that's class.
- "that's class (she's still in high school but it's legal here)"
- "almost moral"
- I'd like to start a band. Almost moral: the pearly gate technicality sessions
Second part of the conversation was the main reason for this post. It started with a bit about moving to the states. Ends up encompassing a variety of thoughts about Canada. With clever results. CFL gets touched on near the end. Those are prime.
- I'd like to go there [USA] and just work some regular below average job and hold down a crappy apartment. Like all the other immigrants.
- Haha, and speak a language that no one understands.
-Sounds about right. First I should spend some time in Newfoundland, and pick myself up a sick accent.
- Yeah, and then you should ship off to Vancouver to get some interesting diseases.
- heh, coast to coast, what Canada has to offer.
- Canada: if you're not disowned by your home country, we'll make sure you are by the time you leave
- Canada: we're better then the states, but we're afraid to say so.
- Canada: get your gay reefer smoking ass up here, sloppy seconds!
- Canada: where the winters are cold, and the women are colder
- Canada: seriously, we're only joking about being racists, Jew!
- Canada: if the Swiss lived in north America
- Canada: get yourself a real beer, you American swine.
- Canada: where the drunk call home
- Canada: seriously, though, we don't have a designated driver?
- Beer: Canada's antidepressant
- Canada: ohg myt gofd i';lm so fuuuucing drubnk
- flag worthy.
- Canada: we'll trade you our doctors for your convenience store staff.
- Canada: exchanging class for hockey cards since 1867
- Canada: Indifferent about Quebec. It's true. I'm sorry.
- Canada: Proud to be the only country to find Don Cherry both charming and employable.
- Canada: noticing Alaska even less then the states do.
- Canada: we'd really find it amicable if you'd pretty please stop fishing illegally in our waters, if that's okay with you.
- Canada: if not, no biggie.
- Canada: passive aggressive at best.
- Canada: if Bryan Adams wasn't Canadian, he'd never be famous.
- Canada: the only country where our biggest music star (Celine Dion) marries a man over 70 and we're okay with it.
- Canada: sending seniors to Florida since 1960.
- Canada: feel free to use OUR airspace.
- Canada: Wait for it.......
- Canada: Hey Buddy.
- Canada: Pal?
- Canada: C'mon, guys. Wait up
- Canada: All the intelligence and quick acting of Stephen Hawkins.
- Canada: Moose Cock lovin' and proud of it
- Canada: just tying their shoes.
- Canada: Kick Me.
- Canada: At least we're not the French!
- Canada: wait...
- Canada: Yeah, I do know Glen from Canada.
(at this point Mr. Aitken is brought up because we thought he would enjoy this game)
- His ones would be gay though.
- Canada: Hair Gel, its a law.
(moving on)
- Canada: Proud as the states with half the arrogance.
- Canada: Why do we always get the pink color on the globe?
- Canada: "will you take a buck fifty?"
- Canada: Have I got a deal for you...
- Canada: Yes, icefishing is a sport.
- Canada: Where throwing rocks can actually be a job.
- revised. Canada: Where overweight, bald men can throw rocks at each other and find their way to the sports page.
- Canada: we still play with pogo sticks.
- Canada: politician pogs, anyone?
- Canada: the real land of the free. (mostly serious)
- Canada: $200 O.B.O
- Canada: Do you accept trades?
- Canada: Colored money benefits the illiterate
- Canada: The change purse capital of the world
- Canada: filling your pockets with change since '93
- Canada: A little too ironic, you know I really do think.
- Canada: Taking school closure for granted since winter grade 1.
- Canada: Where the bottom 1% financially eat LOBSTERS FOR DINNER
- Canada: where unemployment insurance is respectable.
- Canada: Used Clothing, not just for the homeless anymore
- Canada: hitchhiking is coming back
- Canada: Worker's Comp is effing sweet, man.
- Canada: Better put on two pairs of socks.
- Canada: Where, if you wear it for long enough, everything will come back into style.
- Canada: where even ugly people can become famous
- Canada: What IS Jonathan Torrens up to?
- Canada: Ben Mulroony on TV? Honestly...
- Canada: saying hi like we know each other since '67.
- Canada: trying for mandatory nametags since '91.
- Canada: Menopause is a valid disability here.
- Canada: Free parking with every visit
- Canada: More strippers than millionaires
- Canada: Where the waitresses call you "sugar" regardless of age or gender.
- Canada: Tim Hortons is a valid place for a contingency meeting.
- Canada: remember that time...
- Canada: where the youth collect bottles
- Canada: I don't like the way that young punk looked at you, Martha.
- Canada: Watching MuchMusic turn into MTV with tears forming
- Canada: The key is always in the mailbox.
- Canada: willing to take a bullet for Ron McLean
- Canada: Paying Ron McLean more than our doctors.
- Canada: Graduating with an arts degree.
- Canada: We must've reinvented the pig because we've got our own bacon.
- Canada: Where you're more likely to be speared than shot.
- Canada: setting your alarm for 10am
- Canada: Decaf-Americans
- Canada: Allowing large retail chains to have their own currency
- Canada: In love with Giant Muffins.
- Canada: Feng Shui? We had a Chinese kid in school that was named something like that.
- Canada: smarter then the average bear
- Canada: I just want to be held
- Canada: Well, I guess it's closing time and I haven't met anyone else.
- Canada: Striving for Mediocracy
- Canada: C'mon, Top 20
- Canada: Tapping the states on the shoulder.
- Canada: Excuse me.
- Canada: the national inside joke.
- Canada: I don't get it.
- Canada: Email your father and tell him to get home for dinner.
- Canada: Fooled by the hand buzzer again.
- Canada: Where the swirly is always funny
- Canada: Still confused about why lacrosse is the national sport
- Canada: Still plays checkers
- Canada: Grammaritically carrect since 83
- Canada: 50's a pass.
- Canada: If we have another gold rush will you come back?
- Canada: Throw, Throw, Punt.
(this hilariously accurate CFL representation made for our brief transition.)
- The gray cup is ridiculous.
- I know.
- Doug Flutie fumbles to Mike Pinball Clemons who seems to be in street clothes!
- He's doing a celebration dance on a gain of 3.
- That's a scraped knee, he's out 4-6.
- Player of the game will receive a '91 tempo.
- League MVP "Touchback" Terry Thomson.
(at this point, we call it a day)
- its been a slice.
- Canada: Still trying to fix that damn slice.
- Canada: Still occasionally missing the toilet.
"the hardest moment for an athiest is when he feels an extreme sense of gratitude, and has nobody to thank."
Veggie stir-fry tonight. Fuck, what a time to be alive.
But where lies the proper focus when singing? I can't very well watch my vocal chords move. Does focus have to be associated with sight?
"You can sin or spend the night all alone."
Fuck "I've never done it before"
Fuck.
What if i could, then what would I do? Then what would things be like. I'm capable of anything.
Anything.
There's a handful of books, however, that i'm reading but i dont think i'll necessarily finish. These books include the new and old testament, the quran, and Twenty Questions, a textbook that i purchised for my philosophy class that i've been picking up occasionally.
Recently finished books, that i would've written about if the list existed sooner are as follows: 'Doors of Perception' and 'Heaven and Hell' by Aldous Huxley, 'Dune' by Frank Herbert, 'Think' a philosophy text by Simon Blackburn, 'Stranger in a Strange Land' by Robert A. Heinlein, and Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder.
I really liked Doors of Perception. If this book was written recently, i'd say "it's about time that a book was written about drugs (mescaline specifically) that is searching for what drugs do to us, and how they make us think, as opposed to passing off drug experiences as tripping out." However, this book was written quite a while ago, so it's entirely possible that many more books of it's kind exist, and i'm just ignorant to their whereabouts. Irregardless, it's a good intelegent read, and i'd recommend it.
Dune was sort of a hit and miss for me. There were some parts in the book where i was completely captivated. I was totally interested in what would happen. To use a phrase which i deserve to be slapped for, it was a page turner. But it wasn't always this way, at times the story would take a twist that i not only didn't expect, but that i wasn't necessarily interested to see. After completing the book, i know that i enjoyed the majority of my time spent reading it, but i dont know if i took much from it now that it's been permanently set asside. Except for a lack of fear of course. Fear is the mind killer.
Think is a philosophy textbook. I bought it because i thought it was going to be used for a class. Apparently 'Think' was for section 001, while i was in section 003. I read it anyway, and i enjoyed it. If you dig philosophy, but dont really know where to start, then it's a pretty solid step. But it's not the best one. I'd say dont bother reading this book.
Read instead 'Sophie's World'. This is a story about a young girl, and her mysterious philosophy teacher. I must admit that throughout this book, i had a bit of trouble actually caring for the characters. It wasn't until much of the book was done that i started to wonder what would happen to them. But that didn't phase my interest in the book much. There is too much interesting philosophy in this book for me to be tired of it. In each chapter the reader is introduced to another philosopher through the easy to follow conversations between Sophie and her teacher. Sophie helps the teacher along by asking for examples and for things to be dumbed down and the reader gets a great base for understanding the teachings of Descartes, Locke, Kant, Hegel, Marx, Darwin, Freod and puhlenty more. I not only learned some philosophy from this book, but i learned which philosophers interested me: where to go to learn more.
Stranger in a Strange Land is a great book. Like really great. You should probably read it. It's the story of a man who was raised on mars by martian life forms, and then returns to earth. While on earth he does his best to understand humans, and goes through a variety of zany adventures. Use of the expression 'zany adventures' does not really apply much to this book. I dont know what i can write about it other then that it's great. Yep.
I've also read the first four books in Stephen King's series The Dark Tower. I think they're great, and i look forward to reading the rest. I read Stephen King: On Writing also. And i thought it was also a good read. I think dave wrote about it at some point. My favorite line from the book is "Life is not a support system for art, it's the other way around."
Cheers.
Most times i get high, i start out with a feeling of elation. The elation gives way to a sort of anxiety, which i've lately been trying to understand and avoid. After anxiety though, (or during, if it's not being good to me) I go through some great thinking. I feel like i take whatever i think i know about the world as far as i can, and i come to understand one particular aspect as far as is possible for me. Most times i've been high lately, if i end up spending time alone, i get the brief impression that i understand the world.
Usually, i try to write it down, and fail miserably, as my mind works in pictures, and moves too fast for me to articulate anything of importance, other then random crackpot sentances which mean very little to anyone, my future self included.
One common tendancy for my high self, when i'm in this enlightened state of mind, is that i feel like i should write a book. I feel like since i've happened upon the secrets of the universe, i owe it to others to do my best to share this.
By the time the morning comes, however, i've been dragged sleepily out of the depth of the rabbit hole, with only a feint idea of the truth i had seen. I can look over words i wrote, but they lack the vision, the truth that i'd seen the night before.
There's another thing i thought i'd mention, which is similar, yet somewhat contradictory.
The more i read, the more i think that all my great thoughts have already been thought of. I dont know if this holds true for my high thoughts, cause i usually can't figure those out after i've had them.
It seems like every time i think i've found an original path, i find a footprint. Granted, these are footprints of people that i love to read the minds of, and i'm always more then happy to follow their path for as long as it will take me. But i still crave originality. I dont want to be a composition. Einstien is so much more then Newton to me. Newton saw far by standing on the shoulders of giants. He compiled information of all the great thinkers before him. Einstien was so much more, he was new. Einstien changed the world of thought.
And yet, here i sit: Simon Newton.
or am I?
And then, i fought my way through the thick underbrush, the clouds parted, and my eyes happened upon beautiful rays of hope. Oh, wait, that's not hope, that's the fucking golden arches.
On the job training starts saturday.
So i'm sitting here, trying to come up with a response to a comment on Dave's site. Something about downloading music.
Firstly, the thing i had intended to say was that i agreed that morals should be thought about in the universal sense. But i thought it important to say that the question is not whether i'd like everyone to do what i do, the question is whether i'd like everyone to do what i do if they were in my position.
My position, as i figured, was that i love music, and i cannot afford to purchise the cds that i want to listen to.
I thought/think that my inspiration and my happiness were things that were important. I thought that since these things are important, and since i cannot afford to buy cds, that if i downloaded music (that i wasn't planning on buying anyway) and listened to this music, then i would gain, and nobody would lose.
But i'm starting to think that i shouldn't think about other people. I shouldn't think that dave's money for mystery white boy was poorly spent, in that Jeff Buckley is dead and the money goes to sony*. I shouldn't think about the fact that when i buy a cd, the people who get money from me dont need it as much as i do. Because that really isn't what is important.
What is important, is that when i download music i am getting something for nothing. Fuck the rest of the world, and who's rich, who's poor, who's dead, and who owns the rights to whatever. I'm cheating myself by getting something for nothing. It is better to earn something then to just have it. And this is a frustrating point.
I'm not pleased to have realized this. I wish in this case, that my decision could be based on other people. In reality, Ben Folds doesn't need my money any more then he needs my cock in his ass. It's discouraging for me to have realized that it's best to give him my money anyway.
For my sake.
So, here's my deal. I'm not going to download more music. I'm going to happily listen to whatever it is that i've already downloaded. If pat (my roommate) downloads music, i'm also going to happily listen to that. I may download a few albums and burn them as christmas presents. I really have no money, and it's in the spirit of giving, so i think that's okay. If i'm wrong, then i'm sorry. I truely am.
* not all the money from the Jeff Buckley cd goes to sony. Any money that Jeff's mom takes in from her son's album sales goes to a few charities. And i think the principle charity is something that Jeff set up that concerns musicians and alcoholism.
I dont know what i want to talk about. That leaves me in a bit of a predicament. I'm listening to beautiful midnight. And my teeth feel me smiling.
I read once that if you find yourself saying that you should do something at some point, then that's probably the right time to do it.
That said, i'd best check out.
Here i am, in front of the computer, 12:31 am. I am listening to buck65. I know, for a fact, that if i go jogging, then as soon as i am outside, i'll be happy i am. I know that i'll enjoy every step of the jog, and that tomorrow, i'll be happy i did it.
So what is this voice which says not to go? Why does he get louder and louder? Why does he try to remind me that my knee hurts?
It's the same voice that tells me i'm hungry just based on the fact that i'm not holding and eating food. It's the voice that tells me i'm not having a good time when i'm high and laughing. It's the voice which tells me that other people think less of me then their real peers. It's the voice that tells me that i'll never succeed in anything even remotely difficult. It's the voice that says i'll never be able to express myself artistically. It's a weight in my chest. A weight that makes it difficult to breathe.
Well, i have a feeling that you might have heard that voice too. I think you should tell that voice that he/she has no effect on you. As i will tell mine it has no effect on me.
So fuck him, i'm going jogging. Peace.
note: at the age of 6 months i was incapable of giving a complete year in review, so i put it off twelve months.
I hope you liked those capital letters on the first line, cause this thing is gonna get a whole lot less flashy. Dig? Word.
My favorite movies this year were The Increadables, Napolean Dinamite, Garden State, and last but the farthest from least, Ray. If you haven't seen Ray, you should. That goes for the other movies too, but Ray was my favorite. Napolean and Garden can be notched at second, if you're looking for rankings, they were both great flicks.
I listened to alot of music this year that existed before '04, so i'll jot that down now. The weakerthans are probably my favorite band that i didn't know until recently. Left and Leaving is an amazing album. Zero 7 is good. Not amazing, but quite good. I call them groove music. I wrote them second cause i couldn't think of anything else right away. Belle and Sabastien, diggin' it. It's light and it's poppy and it's pleasant to listen to. Dear Catastrophe Waitress, released in '03 is my favorite EP thus far. Bright Eyes is another band which has just recently crossed paths with my ears. And it's been very nice. Lifted, is the album that I've dug most. Death Cab for Cutie is really good. Really very good. Give them a once over, then a twice over. Making three total. The Lawnchairs are decent, they kinda sound like muse, if they wanted to drop the heaviness and speed of their play, and just settle into some neat melodic rock.
The albums which have come out in 2004 that are worth a listen:
William Shatner: Has Been - I am fully digging this album. It's really quite good. I kid you not. Full of good advice like, "Live life like you're going to die, because you're going to." Published by the Messiah-esc Ben Folds, 'Has Been' is full of good music, and thoughtful words spoken by William Shatner. And unlike Shatner's previous releases, this one is presented in a way that sends out a powerful message, yet still embrases the idea of it's being a joke. Full marks. 4.5/5
Iron & Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days - I would recommend that before listening to Endless, you first listen to Iron's first album, The Creek Drank the Cradle. Creek is very touching, it feels like he's singing and playing for you. I first heard it with headphones while waiting for sleep, and he drew a tear to my eye. No shit. Endless is probably a better made album, it's a bit of a fuller sound, and the hooks are catchier and stick to your inner ear a bit more often, but i think i was able to appreciate it alot more, after falling for the caring delivery that Creek gave me. No rating. I just did the Shatner rating cause i thought it was funny to say full marks then give a mark that wasn't full. Hardy har har.
The Arcade Fire: Funeral - Fab. Talk about a debut album, Funeral has an amazing opening track, and possibly even more of a stand out in their second track. Not hard to be reeled in quickly. Give'r a listen, and dig.
The Used: In Love and Death: This album made me sad. Why would a band with such a strong and emotive debut decide to be more like good charlotte? The used first album sounds like it was written for someone who goes out for a run at midnight and screams along with the lyrics, the second album sounds like it was written for a 15 year old girl, who has a 'Used' poster on her wall, and who likes to dream the words are being sung about her while kissing her cd case. So very sad and angry this made me. Even the parts with screaming sound forced, like the producer thought "okay, we'll have to give something to those 'heavy metal' fans out there too". Sad and angry. 2/18 -> 1/9
Stars: Set Yourself On Fire - my first chance to listen to the stars, and it was this album. And it totally floated my moccasins. It's just really really good. 4/5 i'd say. But if i was listening to it right now, i'd bump it up to a 4.2, cause when i'm listening to music it has more of a hold on me. This album does a real good job with both a male and female singer. It's really quite excelent. 4.2 might not be enough. Just give it a listen, figure it out yourself. It's light rock, if you're curious.
Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Like Bad News - I love this album. It was my introduction to modest mouse. It's really a quality cd. It seems to have alot of pop elements, it's very easy to listen to, but I feel like i still has a signature edge to it. Perhaps not as much of an edge as previous modest mouse albums, but it's still there. And it's still sharp. For some insane reason, my roommate pat absolutely hates this album, he thinks they "sold out" because they signed a new "record deal" and got to make a "video". The first time i tried to play it, he didn't say anything, he just burnt one of their older cds off, stopped mine, and put the new one on. So i only play Good News when he's not home. I hope he doesn't read this, or else he'll surely break my copy. 15/18.5
That's all, baby.
This year was also the year i dropped out of school, found God (shwaaa?), started reading recreationally (wtf?), made wine (brackets!), got a harmonica, started playing the blues, and started paying back my student loan.
Everyone have a good night tonight. Safety first!
I'm so tired of myself saying i'm expecting songs to appear soon. I really really am. I wish that you guys were as tired, or possibly more tired, cause if someone told me to shut up about it, then i might give my head a bit of a shake. Holy fucking fuck.
Contrairy to the previous paragraph, I'm actually in quite a good mood. I'm just really pissed at myself. Self 1, for those of us who have read The Inner Game of Tennis.
While i'm expecting things to happen, i am removing responsibility from myself to actually work hard and do it. I'm wanting to do more and more and more, and i'm succeeding at nothing, because i'm too busy living in my dream world of possibilities. I'm not going to tell you that i'm going to get off my ass and do something that i want to do. Because i'm tired of telling you that.
So yeah, i'll see ya when i see ya.
And I'm sorry I care that I look really young,
my eyes are too small, I'm too lazy to run.
I honestly thought that I meant it last time
But I'm staying the same, I'm sorry.
Home sweet home.
I came back from my uncle's house today. I spent the last few nights since christmas there. I really was happy to be back here, as dirty as this place is. My roommate pat put up a website to show off our little corner of the world. http://www.eatingdogs.com/whereilive if i'm not mistaken. I'll check before publish though. Note: I was mistaken, i made the necessary changes though.
Mayhaps it doesn't work all the time. It's not working right now, for example. But be patient with it, try it in a few days.
I think the last post i made was a waste of everyone's time and/or money. Or maybe i just give my other posts too much credit in believing them to each be little life changing experiences for everyone.
I'm excited to see what happens in the next little while.
So that's what christmas smells like.
It's some different away from home, I'll tell ya. There's alot more people and alot more booze. I got a harmonica, a few books, and some coin. The books are flippin stellar though, i'm psyched to read. I'm also psyched about the harmonica, and the slide i got. I'm also psyched about paying rent.
I also got tarot cards. Pretty slick, I'd say. Aine has them, maybe I can learn a few tricks of the trade from her.
I'm realizing the lack of value in this post. It's quite unvaluable. Devaluable. Invaluable!
Third time is a charm, i hear. Although invaluable might mean the same thing as priceless. I have ways of finding out, but i wont bother. Lame-O.
I hope that everyone is having fun doing what they do. I'm still doing things and waiting for things to happen. It's all okay.
Good Night.
First things first, i was discouraged by the lack of comments on my last post. I was hoping people would be talking about what their favorites were, adding their own, all sorts of fun stuff like that.
The whole episode just further proves that the only thing capable of disapointing me is my own expectations. Cheers.
Patrick talked to me a little while ago about listening to Zero 7 on the bus. He said it was really really great, but he felt kinda like he was cheating. We've both got huge amounts of bands and albums that we are trying to make an effort to listen to. I fully understood Pat thinking he should've used the time to listen to something he hadn't heard before, instead of settling into the comforts of a known love.
But today, when memories of this conversation arose in me, I found a problem with striving for new experiences, self realization, and self discovery.
And the problem is a complete lack of innocence.
Wit anyone?
This post will contain excerpts from a lengthy conversation with the Dave. Buckle up.
First section: The topic of Avril releasing a CD for the holiday's came up.
- I drew the line at Hanukkah: I Think It's About Jews
- "Lovin' that pointy candle thing"
- "let me spin your dredle" was just inappropriate.
- and over 20 minutes long.
- "Jesus aint no thang (wait for the messiah)" was a surprise hit.
- "chillin with mo in my cave"
- "Lose the foreskin (then we'll talk)"
- "Take it into the rectory"
- "Ten Commandments (thou shalt get down and party)"
- "I'm Spreading Jesus' Love All Over the World (Get Down on it)"
- "Don't Need yo' Sausage"
- "I'll Stuff Your Turkey (With Love)"
- I'd love to write a novelty album. Like, an album that creed would be really proud of.
- "Don't be a pharaoh (stay in school)
- Staff to snake (and back again)
- "dumpster diving for love (I hate my father)"
- Santa's on the roof (and he's ruining my reception)
- "empty stockings (he was hung like an elf)"
- that's class.
- "that's class (she's still in high school but it's legal here)"
- "almost moral"
- I'd like to start a band. Almost moral: the pearly gate technicality sessions
Second part of the conversation was the main reason for this post. It started with a bit about moving to the states. Ends up encompassing a variety of thoughts about Canada. With clever results. CFL gets touched on near the end. Those are prime.
- I'd like to go there [USA] and just work some regular below average job and hold down a crappy apartment. Like all the other immigrants.
- Haha, and speak a language that no one understands.
-Sounds about right. First I should spend some time in Newfoundland, and pick myself up a sick accent.
- Yeah, and then you should ship off to Vancouver to get some interesting diseases.
- heh, coast to coast, what Canada has to offer.
- Canada: if you're not disowned by your home country, we'll make sure you are by the time you leave
- Canada: we're better then the states, but we're afraid to say so.
- Canada: get your gay reefer smoking ass up here, sloppy seconds!
- Canada: where the winters are cold, and the women are colder
- Canada: seriously, we're only joking about being racists, Jew!
- Canada: if the Swiss lived in north America
- Canada: get yourself a real beer, you American swine.
- Canada: where the drunk call home
- Canada: seriously, though, we don't have a designated driver?
- Beer: Canada's antidepressant
- Canada: ohg myt gofd i';lm so fuuuucing drubnk
- flag worthy.
- Canada: we'll trade you our doctors for your convenience store staff.
- Canada: exchanging class for hockey cards since 1867
- Canada: Indifferent about Quebec. It's true. I'm sorry.
- Canada: Proud to be the only country to find Don Cherry both charming and employable.
- Canada: noticing Alaska even less then the states do.
- Canada: we'd really find it amicable if you'd pretty please stop fishing illegally in our waters, if that's okay with you.
- Canada: if not, no biggie.
- Canada: passive aggressive at best.
- Canada: if Bryan Adams wasn't Canadian, he'd never be famous.
- Canada: the only country where our biggest music star (Celine Dion) marries a man over 70 and we're okay with it.
- Canada: sending seniors to Florida since 1960.
- Canada: feel free to use OUR airspace.
- Canada: Wait for it.......
- Canada: Hey Buddy.
- Canada: Pal?
- Canada: C'mon, guys. Wait up
- Canada: All the intelligence and quick acting of Stephen Hawkins.
- Canada: Moose Cock lovin' and proud of it
- Canada: just tying their shoes.
- Canada: Kick Me.
- Canada: At least we're not the French!
- Canada: wait...
- Canada: Yeah, I do know Glen from Canada.
(at this point Mr. Aitken is brought up because we thought he would enjoy this game)
- His ones would be gay though.
- Canada: Hair Gel, its a law.
(moving on)
- Canada: Proud as the states with half the arrogance.
- Canada: Why do we always get the pink color on the globe?
- Canada: "will you take a buck fifty?"
- Canada: Have I got a deal for you...
- Canada: Yes, icefishing is a sport.
- Canada: Where throwing rocks can actually be a job.
- revised. Canada: Where overweight, bald men can throw rocks at each other and find their way to the sports page.
- Canada: we still play with pogo sticks.
- Canada: politician pogs, anyone?
- Canada: the real land of the free. (mostly serious)
- Canada: $200 O.B.O
- Canada: Do you accept trades?
- Canada: Colored money benefits the illiterate
- Canada: The change purse capital of the world
- Canada: filling your pockets with change since '93
- Canada: A little too ironic, you know I really do think.
- Canada: Taking school closure for granted since winter grade 1.
- Canada: Where the bottom 1% financially eat LOBSTERS FOR DINNER
- Canada: where unemployment insurance is respectable.
- Canada: Used Clothing, not just for the homeless anymore
- Canada: hitchhiking is coming back
- Canada: Worker's Comp is effing sweet, man.
- Canada: Better put on two pairs of socks.
- Canada: Where, if you wear it for long enough, everything will come back into style.
- Canada: where even ugly people can become famous
- Canada: What IS Jonathan Torrens up to?
- Canada: Ben Mulroony on TV? Honestly...
- Canada: saying hi like we know each other since '67.
- Canada: trying for mandatory nametags since '91.
- Canada: Menopause is a valid disability here.
- Canada: Free parking with every visit
- Canada: More strippers than millionaires
- Canada: Where the waitresses call you "sugar" regardless of age or gender.
- Canada: Tim Hortons is a valid place for a contingency meeting.
- Canada: remember that time...
- Canada: where the youth collect bottles
- Canada: I don't like the way that young punk looked at you, Martha.
- Canada: Watching MuchMusic turn into MTV with tears forming
- Canada: The key is always in the mailbox.
- Canada: willing to take a bullet for Ron McLean
- Canada: Paying Ron McLean more than our doctors.
- Canada: Graduating with an arts degree.
- Canada: We must've reinvented the pig because we've got our own bacon.
- Canada: Where you're more likely to be speared than shot.
- Canada: setting your alarm for 10am
- Canada: Decaf-Americans
- Canada: Allowing large retail chains to have their own currency
- Canada: In love with Giant Muffins.
- Canada: Feng Shui? We had a Chinese kid in school that was named something like that.
- Canada: smarter then the average bear
- Canada: I just want to be held
- Canada: Well, I guess it's closing time and I haven't met anyone else.
- Canada: Striving for Mediocracy
- Canada: C'mon, Top 20
- Canada: Tapping the states on the shoulder.
- Canada: Excuse me.
- Canada: the national inside joke.
- Canada: I don't get it.
- Canada: Email your father and tell him to get home for dinner.
- Canada: Fooled by the hand buzzer again.
- Canada: Where the swirly is always funny
- Canada: Still confused about why lacrosse is the national sport
- Canada: Still plays checkers
- Canada: Grammaritically carrect since 83
- Canada: 50's a pass.
- Canada: If we have another gold rush will you come back?
- Canada: Throw, Throw, Punt.
(this hilariously accurate CFL representation made for our brief transition.)
- The gray cup is ridiculous.
- I know.
- Doug Flutie fumbles to Mike Pinball Clemons who seems to be in street clothes!
- He's doing a celebration dance on a gain of 3.
- That's a scraped knee, he's out 4-6.
- Player of the game will receive a '91 tempo.
- League MVP "Touchback" Terry Thomson.
(at this point, we call it a day)
- its been a slice.
- Canada: Still trying to fix that damn slice.
- Canada: Still occasionally missing the toilet.
Today i finished a little music session, and i said out loud "I am a good musician". But that didn't seem right. In reality, I am nothing. I am nothing but a constant monologue in my head. It's my body, or my subconcious that has become skilled with music production. But I am no more responsible for that then I am responsible for my ability to walk.
"the hardest moment for an athiest is when he feels an extreme sense of gratitude, and has nobody to thank."
Veggie stir-fry tonight. Fuck, what a time to be alive.
What can a person focus on to empty their mind of thought when trying to sing? Apparently if you're trying to find something to focus on to rid you mind of thought when playing tennis, focusing on the seams on the ball, or on the time of the bounce, and raquet contact, or the sound of the contact, then you'll be able to forget to think about playing, and you'll do well.
But where lies the proper focus when singing? I can't very well watch my vocal chords move. Does focus have to be associated with sight?
"You can sin or spend the night all alone."
There's a piano at ouc. I played it for a few hours today. My piano teacher said that i have a real knack for the instrument. He said that it's a shame i didn't start earlier. He thinks i was made for piano. I am excited now. Inspired, one might say.
Fuck "I Cant"
Fuck "I've never done it before"
Fuck.
What if i could, then what would I do? Then what would things be like. I'm capable of anything.
Anything.
I just put up a list of the books i'm reading. I decided that when i finish one of the books on this list, then i'll do a little write up on how good or bad the book was. Then we'll part ways and the book will leave the list.
There's a handful of books, however, that i'm reading but i dont think i'll necessarily finish. These books include the new and old testament, the quran, and Twenty Questions, a textbook that i purchised for my philosophy class that i've been picking up occasionally.
Recently finished books, that i would've written about if the list existed sooner are as follows: 'Doors of Perception' and 'Heaven and Hell' by Aldous Huxley, 'Dune' by Frank Herbert, 'Think' a philosophy text by Simon Blackburn, 'Stranger in a Strange Land' by Robert A. Heinlein, and Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder.
I really liked Doors of Perception. If this book was written recently, i'd say "it's about time that a book was written about drugs (mescaline specifically) that is searching for what drugs do to us, and how they make us think, as opposed to passing off drug experiences as tripping out." However, this book was written quite a while ago, so it's entirely possible that many more books of it's kind exist, and i'm just ignorant to their whereabouts. Irregardless, it's a good intelegent read, and i'd recommend it.
Dune was sort of a hit and miss for me. There were some parts in the book where i was completely captivated. I was totally interested in what would happen. To use a phrase which i deserve to be slapped for, it was a page turner. But it wasn't always this way, at times the story would take a twist that i not only didn't expect, but that i wasn't necessarily interested to see. After completing the book, i know that i enjoyed the majority of my time spent reading it, but i dont know if i took much from it now that it's been permanently set asside. Except for a lack of fear of course. Fear is the mind killer.
Think is a philosophy textbook. I bought it because i thought it was going to be used for a class. Apparently 'Think' was for section 001, while i was in section 003. I read it anyway, and i enjoyed it. If you dig philosophy, but dont really know where to start, then it's a pretty solid step. But it's not the best one. I'd say dont bother reading this book.
Read instead 'Sophie's World'. This is a story about a young girl, and her mysterious philosophy teacher. I must admit that throughout this book, i had a bit of trouble actually caring for the characters. It wasn't until much of the book was done that i started to wonder what would happen to them. But that didn't phase my interest in the book much. There is too much interesting philosophy in this book for me to be tired of it. In each chapter the reader is introduced to another philosopher through the easy to follow conversations between Sophie and her teacher. Sophie helps the teacher along by asking for examples and for things to be dumbed down and the reader gets a great base for understanding the teachings of Descartes, Locke, Kant, Hegel, Marx, Darwin, Freod and puhlenty more. I not only learned some philosophy from this book, but i learned which philosophers interested me: where to go to learn more.
Stranger in a Strange Land is a great book. Like really great. You should probably read it. It's the story of a man who was raised on mars by martian life forms, and then returns to earth. While on earth he does his best to understand humans, and goes through a variety of zany adventures. Use of the expression 'zany adventures' does not really apply much to this book. I dont know what i can write about it other then that it's great. Yep.
I've also read the first four books in Stephen King's series The Dark Tower. I think they're great, and i look forward to reading the rest. I read Stephen King: On Writing also. And i thought it was also a good read. I think dave wrote about it at some point. My favorite line from the book is "Life is not a support system for art, it's the other way around."
Cheers.
Oftentimes, i feel like i am a great thinker. I feel like i'm becoming closer and closer to understanding myself, and understanding my relationship with the world.
Most times i get high, i start out with a feeling of elation. The elation gives way to a sort of anxiety, which i've lately been trying to understand and avoid. After anxiety though, (or during, if it's not being good to me) I go through some great thinking. I feel like i take whatever i think i know about the world as far as i can, and i come to understand one particular aspect as far as is possible for me. Most times i've been high lately, if i end up spending time alone, i get the brief impression that i understand the world.
Usually, i try to write it down, and fail miserably, as my mind works in pictures, and moves too fast for me to articulate anything of importance, other then random crackpot sentances which mean very little to anyone, my future self included.
One common tendancy for my high self, when i'm in this enlightened state of mind, is that i feel like i should write a book. I feel like since i've happened upon the secrets of the universe, i owe it to others to do my best to share this.
By the time the morning comes, however, i've been dragged sleepily out of the depth of the rabbit hole, with only a feint idea of the truth i had seen. I can look over words i wrote, but they lack the vision, the truth that i'd seen the night before.
There's another thing i thought i'd mention, which is similar, yet somewhat contradictory.
The more i read, the more i think that all my great thoughts have already been thought of. I dont know if this holds true for my high thoughts, cause i usually can't figure those out after i've had them.
It seems like every time i think i've found an original path, i find a footprint. Granted, these are footprints of people that i love to read the minds of, and i'm always more then happy to follow their path for as long as it will take me. But i still crave originality. I dont want to be a composition. Einstien is so much more then Newton to me. Newton saw far by standing on the shoulders of giants. He compiled information of all the great thinkers before him. Einstien was so much more, he was new. Einstien changed the world of thought.
And yet, here i sit: Simon Newton.
or am I?
Well, anyone who's talked to me recently has probably gotten an idea of my lack of funds, and my desire for employment. I've dropped off resumes all over the place, with no callbacks.
And then, i fought my way through the thick underbrush, the clouds parted, and my eyes happened upon beautiful rays of hope. Oh, wait, that's not hope, that's the fucking golden arches.
On the job training starts saturday.
Damn.
So i'm sitting here, trying to come up with a response to a comment on Dave's site. Something about downloading music.
Firstly, the thing i had intended to say was that i agreed that morals should be thought about in the universal sense. But i thought it important to say that the question is not whether i'd like everyone to do what i do, the question is whether i'd like everyone to do what i do if they were in my position.
My position, as i figured, was that i love music, and i cannot afford to purchise the cds that i want to listen to.
I thought/think that my inspiration and my happiness were things that were important. I thought that since these things are important, and since i cannot afford to buy cds, that if i downloaded music (that i wasn't planning on buying anyway) and listened to this music, then i would gain, and nobody would lose.
But i'm starting to think that i shouldn't think about other people. I shouldn't think that dave's money for mystery white boy was poorly spent, in that Jeff Buckley is dead and the money goes to sony*. I shouldn't think about the fact that when i buy a cd, the people who get money from me dont need it as much as i do. Because that really isn't what is important.
What is important, is that when i download music i am getting something for nothing. Fuck the rest of the world, and who's rich, who's poor, who's dead, and who owns the rights to whatever. I'm cheating myself by getting something for nothing. It is better to earn something then to just have it. And this is a frustrating point.
I'm not pleased to have realized this. I wish in this case, that my decision could be based on other people. In reality, Ben Folds doesn't need my money any more then he needs my cock in his ass. It's discouraging for me to have realized that it's best to give him my money anyway.
For my sake.
So, here's my deal. I'm not going to download more music. I'm going to happily listen to whatever it is that i've already downloaded. If pat (my roommate) downloads music, i'm also going to happily listen to that. I may download a few albums and burn them as christmas presents. I really have no money, and it's in the spirit of giving, so i think that's okay. If i'm wrong, then i'm sorry. I truely am.
* not all the money from the Jeff Buckley cd goes to sony. Any money that Jeff's mom takes in from her son's album sales goes to a few charities. And i think the principle charity is something that Jeff set up that concerns musicians and alcoholism.
Believe in Zen, people. Let the body teach the mind.
I think i'm going to give up porn. Just an idea, really. Not cause i think it's degrading towards women, cause really, those talentless sluts have to feed their bastard children somehow. It's more for my sake. I can do better.
"So i stand in the sun, and i breathe with my lungs"
I dont know what i want to talk about. That leaves me in a bit of a predicament. I'm listening to beautiful midnight. And my teeth feel me smiling.
I read once that if you find yourself saying that you should do something at some point, then that's probably the right time to do it.
That said, i'd best check out.
What is that voice which tells us not to do things?
Here i am, in front of the computer, 12:31 am. I am listening to buck65. I know, for a fact, that if i go jogging, then as soon as i am outside, i'll be happy i am. I know that i'll enjoy every step of the jog, and that tomorrow, i'll be happy i did it.
So what is this voice which says not to go? Why does he get louder and louder? Why does he try to remind me that my knee hurts?
It's the same voice that tells me i'm hungry just based on the fact that i'm not holding and eating food. It's the voice that tells me i'm not having a good time when i'm high and laughing. It's the voice which tells me that other people think less of me then their real peers. It's the voice that tells me that i'll never succeed in anything even remotely difficult. It's the voice that says i'll never be able to express myself artistically. It's a weight in my chest. A weight that makes it difficult to breathe.
Well, i have a feeling that you might have heard that voice too. I think you should tell that voice that he/she has no effect on you. As i will tell mine it has no effect on me.
So fuck him, i'm going jogging. Peace.