I looked at the possibility of making a post earlier this afternoon, but i really liked how my post last night turned out, even though i had doubts before starting it. So i thought i'd leave it up for a while longer.
Now that i'm home however, i've received a few pieces of mail. And my day has gone from really good, to excelent, to monumental (i used almost these exact words just talking to paulette, but i like the word monumental, so i had to use it again).
I'm riding my bliss like a wave.
When i got home, i found a large envelope addressed to me, the student loan is in my hands, i'd say 10 days from now, i'll be $5000 richer. I suppose i'll also be $5000 further into debt, but this doens't worry me much.
I checked the outside mail, and got a postcard from cait (she's from bc, she's in love with me) and i got a money order from my dad. A little love, a little money... i can't think of a better mailbox.
I came downstairs to go online, and i found that i had two new emails. One from scott montgomerie, and one from one of my profs. I read the prof one first (i was enjoying the anticipation over scott's email, so i let it build a little. I always save best for last when checking mail). In the profs email, he outlined our first assignment, which doesn't sound like good news, but when you miss the first week of classes and find out that you havn't missed any assignments, it really is good news.
A few nights ago, i was restless, and my thoughts were revolving about music (as usual) and i decided to write an email to a couple of musically inclined friends, scott being one of them. I asked if these friends were interested in getting a place over the summer to live, and to play music for the span of the summer. This way, the music wouldn't interfere with school, and we could play and write music together, and see if there really is a future in that.
Living with chris has made a huge difference in the quality and quantity of music that we've been making, i had the idea that having a house or apt based around a band would provide endless music creation, especially in the school free/stress free summer life.
Basically, the email i got from scott was an uplifting one concerning his interest in the project.
I am elated. If i am meant to make music during my lifetime, this summer will decide it.
Signing off. Me.
I dont know if it's particularly healthy, but for a long time i've felt like i have somewhat of a happy reputation to keep up. Although i dont want to point any fingers of blame, i have always traced this back to a time when i was feeling particularly troubled with my chrissy relationship, i was at a tim hortons with justin good, and likely a few others (shannon and dave, perhaps). During the time at tims, i was looking unhappy, or was saying things that were unhappy, and i remember justin saying something along the lines of "no no, you're always happy".
I'm sure it's not only because of that moment, but regardless of the cause, i almost constantly want to come across as a happy person. I feel guilt for any times of sadness i go through (I mean, what reasons do i have to be unhappy). Whenever i make a sad post on this here blog, i usually feel stupid about it as soon as its done, and although i dont like to delete posts, i try to make other posts to push the unhappy one down the page, and eventually off of it.
Side note: i dont like to delete posts because i think that if i was ever in the state of mind to want to post something, i owe it to my past self to leave it up, even if my current self doesn't like/agree with whatever i'd previously thought.
I dont know if my desire to be always happy is necessarily a bad thing, though. When i'm not happy, i'm nearly always sure that i'll come out of it. Although right now, in my current state of mind, i wonder if the only thing keeping me up is some unfounded belief that i'm a happy person. If i thought that i didn't come across as happy, then maybe i wouldn't care if i was in a shitty mood, and i'd then be in a shitty mood more often. Who knows?
I had decided to apologise for my post when i realized that my first comment was going to be "I should learn that posting to my blog isn't going to cure my loneliness." It's a pretty negative comment. But it is true. I am only here writing this, because i hope that someone is listening. The idea that someone is reading this, and is caring about my well being is comforting.
But in all seriousness, the last thing i want is a bunch of comments saying that people hope i'm feeling better or something. Just trust me on this, i will feel better, i actually feel better now then when i started, even if only a little. If you care to comment on how you've felt the same way, then feel free to add your opinion, but i'm not out here to round up some pity.
When i'm feeling unhappy, the first thing to go is faith in my dreams. Happy or sad, i'll always believe that people love me, i've never began to think i'll die alone or never meet someone, but my faith that i can actually live life as a musician seems pretty retarded right now. So generally, since my main reason for being in ottawa is to make music (and of course my love for the one, the only, aine o'hare) i feel like possibly i shouldn't be here, and that i'm wasting my time. I know that in ottawa my social life, and social skills, i should add, are at a pretty low level. It's easy to see why i feel like i'm lacking a social life, when my stay at home ways are compared to either BC resedence life, or my time at home sweet home, where i know everybody, and their dog.
But hey, with that sort of segway (i dont know how to spell that word, but if i spell it this way, at least i can be assured people know what word i mean) i can finish this post on a positive note. I got a call from my intremural volleyball coach earlier today, and our first game is tuesday. That's coed volleyball, by the way, so i can ensure that i'll meet a few people, male and female alike. I havn't heard word about hockey yet though, but i assume i'll find out about that fairly shortly.
And i suppose with that, i'll leave you all, i hope everyone is sleeping soundly.
I think i'll also mention that even though i didn't follow my own advice here, i really dont like the idea of making out on dance floors, i dont mind a kiss or so after a tune while you're looking at eachother waiting for the next song, but as far as people who are kissing for over 30% of each song, i would see that as fairly tedious. I wasn't into things that deeply though, i had sorta been on my way out when she stopped me so i stuck around for one tune, and i was out. Apparently she "really likes" me though, i kinda laughed when she said that, and i told her she was drunk. I thought it was kind of funny, but she seemed disapointed at my downplaying of her apparent "feelings".
Another thing that might be funny to just me was when her friend saw me while she was on the way to the bathroom. We had introduced ourselves earlier that evening, but i'm always really bad with names. So when she was walking by and said "your name is simon, right?" i gave her a little bit of a point, and said "you got it!" Then she walked off. I cought a bit of a chuckle.
I'm going to see Billy Talent tonight, and i've recently found that Pilate is going to be at olivers on the 26th of january, so i'm going to be there as well. Pilate is pretty sweet, i think.
Laterz.
Keys are being kinda good to me surprisingly. Which is really awesome. I was in my school yesterday, with about an hour and a half left in my break before next class, i decided that i'd walk to the music building so that i could possibly listen to someone on violin or piano. When i went to the fourth floor, i walked around, heard a bit of violin, but it wasn't sparking my interest. I came across a room with a piano, and i looked inside, and there weren't any students there. So i sat down and played a little ben folds, and a little radiohead. And i had myself a little great time. I got to class on time too.
Some of my school courses are going to need alot of effort. I currently have faith in myself to give that effort. I'll keep us all informed. My music course, although i think it will take alot of effort (we're working with do re mi fa so la ti do, instead of c d e f g a b c. which is weird to me) i think i'll be happy i took it when it's over, i'm keen to learn. We sang in class on my first day, which was frightening, but i participated as best i could. Next class we have a test, we're going to listen to some crazy old classical tunes, and write the author and name of the piece, and the time period, as well as something pertaining to the piece (a comment about style or the harmonies used and such). I think it'll likely be a difficult test. But i'm signing out the text from my librairy, and the cds from the music building tomorrow, i will do well.
I'd say i can call it a post.
Flava'
I signed up for three new courses today, rounding out the semester to five. My new courses include a course on music appreciation, an entry level course in criminology and an economics course. This should be a nice turn from the two math courses i have, which are appearing to be difficult courses.
I am currently in an intremural co-ed volleyball league. My captain will be calling me as to my first game. I'm glee with anticipation. And then on a far higher level of goodness, i joined an intremural hockey league today, i'll be playing on friday afternoons, and it should be rocking good.
I'll soon find out just how out of shape i am.
Jimminy.
Billy Talent at Olivers on friday. I plan on being there. With or without bells on.
That's my current theory. If i didn't have that theory then i may become overly confident, cause i really like our music.
I wrote a little riff last night. And i'm going to tab it out here. When i first went to the computer i was really super excited about the riff, and i was prepared to compare it to street spirit. But at this point, i think that sort of comparison shouldn't be done.
"did you make the same mistake as the beatles and call yourself bigger then jesus?"
"it was the name of our second album."
Something to that effect.
----------------------------------------------
------10-8---8------------------------------
----9-----------10--10-9---9-7----7-9---
--7---------7------7-------7-----10-------
----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
the 7 on the d string should be ringing pretty consistantly. The spacing between the notes should be even, just for fun, lets call them 8th notes. I dont really know what it means exactly. But quarter notes would make for a pretty slow riff.
I had a great night last night, from what i remember. Apparently after the martini bar, i went to zaphods, but i dont remember that place at all. Sounds like a good time was had.
I wake up at about 11:10, and find that i had set my alarm for 7:45pm. Not a very good start, i feel.
I'd say the best part of my day so far, was deciding that i should turn back and get my hat. Without it, my day would certainly become worse. It really is very cold.
To start my day, i go to a little peer help office, and had a few girls tell me that with my slew of problems, the best place to start was with my faculty. So i go to the office there, and delightfully (likely second best part of day) the cute/hot as all hell french girl is on secretarial (sp?, real word?) duty.
I get an email address from some lady who told me that when i find courses i want to be in, i can email her a list of them, and from this she'll tell me which ones are open. I'd call that a form of progress (although i'm still officially part time with my two course load).
From there i move on to financial services, where i plan on finally getting my student loan. So here's the deal. And this is the real deal, not just the deal that i had thought was the case for so long.
My innitial loan was sent back because i didn't have any ID on me that said i was simon arsenault. My "Simon Newton" student loan application was sent to 70 Cottonwood Dr. (my charlottetown pei address). This is how island loans are done, they're sent to the student's homes. Ontario student loans are sent to the school, as well as Quebec. Upon reading that my loan has been sent out, the staff at the financial services building have been continuously telling me that my loan should be on it's way, and should be here shortly. However, it wasn't on it's way, it was on pei all along. Fantastic!
So when my mom called me to tell me that she got a new loan paper thing in the mail, i assumed it wasn't very important, I had been told that the loan was "on it's way" to my university about three times a week for the past 2 months. This thing that arrived at my house seemed inconcequential.
So that's pretty much that, whatever had been at my house has long since been thrown away. Tomorrow i get to talk to Don Currie (aka lindsay's dad) and ask him to send me a new loan application, to my ottawa home. Then i take it to school. Everything from there on should be good news.
But seriously, talk about a kick in the teeth.
Today there was signups for intremurals. I asked if i could sign up and then pay later when my loan arrived, they said i couldn't. As of a more recent check-back, soccer is full. If i can get money from home soon enough, i might be able to get into co-ed basketball, (it's the only basketball left) or maybe co-ed volleyball (which is the only volleyball offered). I'd be happy with either of these things, cause i'd be doing stuff. Wish me luck that they're not full by the time i come across funds.
The other piece of news i came across was that the reason i can't apply for any new courses online is because i have not paid for first semester. Therefor applying through a phone call wont help the cause, thus negating the progress made in paragraph five.
So i need to talk to financial services again, have them enter into their computer that i'm waiting for a student loan, then contact some lady and ask her to allow me to sign up for courses. Then i can sign up for courses, go to school, and learn.
Hopefully i'll be learning by early next week. Although that isn't as early as was intended.
As a bright side, i know things couldn't possibly get any worse. Heh, now i'm tempting fate. awesome.
I'm learning still fighting it on keys. Keys are gorgeous. Other musical note (huge pun intended): I broke a string yesterday. So i started jamming on craig's electric. Talk about a silver lining. I had a golden musical evening.
I hope i havn't bored anyone with my financial situation. Just making sure that those who do have an interest in this blog other then their own procrastination know what's up with me. As far as people looking for something entertaining to do with their time, i've heard good things about masterbation.
Make sure you all keep living. And that doesn't mean the same thing as not dying.
Salmon.
Now that i'm home however, i've received a few pieces of mail. And my day has gone from really good, to excelent, to monumental (i used almost these exact words just talking to paulette, but i like the word monumental, so i had to use it again).
I'm riding my bliss like a wave.
When i got home, i found a large envelope addressed to me, the student loan is in my hands, i'd say 10 days from now, i'll be $5000 richer. I suppose i'll also be $5000 further into debt, but this doens't worry me much.
I checked the outside mail, and got a postcard from cait (she's from bc, she's in love with me) and i got a money order from my dad. A little love, a little money... i can't think of a better mailbox.
I came downstairs to go online, and i found that i had two new emails. One from scott montgomerie, and one from one of my profs. I read the prof one first (i was enjoying the anticipation over scott's email, so i let it build a little. I always save best for last when checking mail). In the profs email, he outlined our first assignment, which doesn't sound like good news, but when you miss the first week of classes and find out that you havn't missed any assignments, it really is good news.
A few nights ago, i was restless, and my thoughts were revolving about music (as usual) and i decided to write an email to a couple of musically inclined friends, scott being one of them. I asked if these friends were interested in getting a place over the summer to live, and to play music for the span of the summer. This way, the music wouldn't interfere with school, and we could play and write music together, and see if there really is a future in that.
Living with chris has made a huge difference in the quality and quantity of music that we've been making, i had the idea that having a house or apt based around a band would provide endless music creation, especially in the school free/stress free summer life.
Basically, the email i got from scott was an uplifting one concerning his interest in the project.
I am elated. If i am meant to make music during my lifetime, this summer will decide it.
Signing off. Me.
Even before i've decided what to talk about, i've thought about apologising for the post. This is because i'm not feeling particularly happy, and i can only assume that the ideas (and therefor blogging topics) floating around my head are also not going to be happy.
I dont know if it's particularly healthy, but for a long time i've felt like i have somewhat of a happy reputation to keep up. Although i dont want to point any fingers of blame, i have always traced this back to a time when i was feeling particularly troubled with my chrissy relationship, i was at a tim hortons with justin good, and likely a few others (shannon and dave, perhaps). During the time at tims, i was looking unhappy, or was saying things that were unhappy, and i remember justin saying something along the lines of "no no, you're always happy".
I'm sure it's not only because of that moment, but regardless of the cause, i almost constantly want to come across as a happy person. I feel guilt for any times of sadness i go through (I mean, what reasons do i have to be unhappy). Whenever i make a sad post on this here blog, i usually feel stupid about it as soon as its done, and although i dont like to delete posts, i try to make other posts to push the unhappy one down the page, and eventually off of it.
Side note: i dont like to delete posts because i think that if i was ever in the state of mind to want to post something, i owe it to my past self to leave it up, even if my current self doesn't like/agree with whatever i'd previously thought.
I dont know if my desire to be always happy is necessarily a bad thing, though. When i'm not happy, i'm nearly always sure that i'll come out of it. Although right now, in my current state of mind, i wonder if the only thing keeping me up is some unfounded belief that i'm a happy person. If i thought that i didn't come across as happy, then maybe i wouldn't care if i was in a shitty mood, and i'd then be in a shitty mood more often. Who knows?
I had decided to apologise for my post when i realized that my first comment was going to be "I should learn that posting to my blog isn't going to cure my loneliness." It's a pretty negative comment. But it is true. I am only here writing this, because i hope that someone is listening. The idea that someone is reading this, and is caring about my well being is comforting.
But in all seriousness, the last thing i want is a bunch of comments saying that people hope i'm feeling better or something. Just trust me on this, i will feel better, i actually feel better now then when i started, even if only a little. If you care to comment on how you've felt the same way, then feel free to add your opinion, but i'm not out here to round up some pity.
When i'm feeling unhappy, the first thing to go is faith in my dreams. Happy or sad, i'll always believe that people love me, i've never began to think i'll die alone or never meet someone, but my faith that i can actually live life as a musician seems pretty retarded right now. So generally, since my main reason for being in ottawa is to make music (and of course my love for the one, the only, aine o'hare) i feel like possibly i shouldn't be here, and that i'm wasting my time. I know that in ottawa my social life, and social skills, i should add, are at a pretty low level. It's easy to see why i feel like i'm lacking a social life, when my stay at home ways are compared to either BC resedence life, or my time at home sweet home, where i know everybody, and their dog.
But hey, with that sort of segway (i dont know how to spell that word, but if i spell it this way, at least i can be assured people know what word i mean) i can finish this post on a positive note. I got a call from my intremural volleyball coach earlier today, and our first game is tuesday. That's coed volleyball, by the way, so i can ensure that i'll meet a few people, male and female alike. I havn't heard word about hockey yet though, but i assume i'll find out about that fairly shortly.
And i suppose with that, i'll leave you all, i hope everyone is sleeping soundly.
Normally, before kissing someone, i dont like to have them say "I've cheated on my boyfriend four times tonight", but she was pretty cute and i was having an uneventful evening, so i figured what the shat eh?
I think i'll also mention that even though i didn't follow my own advice here, i really dont like the idea of making out on dance floors, i dont mind a kiss or so after a tune while you're looking at eachother waiting for the next song, but as far as people who are kissing for over 30% of each song, i would see that as fairly tedious. I wasn't into things that deeply though, i had sorta been on my way out when she stopped me so i stuck around for one tune, and i was out. Apparently she "really likes" me though, i kinda laughed when she said that, and i told her she was drunk. I thought it was kind of funny, but she seemed disapointed at my downplaying of her apparent "feelings".
Another thing that might be funny to just me was when her friend saw me while she was on the way to the bathroom. We had introduced ourselves earlier that evening, but i'm always really bad with names. So when she was walking by and said "your name is simon, right?" i gave her a little bit of a point, and said "you got it!" Then she walked off. I cought a bit of a chuckle.
I'm going to see Billy Talent tonight, and i've recently found that Pilate is going to be at olivers on the 26th of january, so i'm going to be there as well. Pilate is pretty sweet, i think.
Laterz.
I bought my billy talent ticket yesterday. I'm am continuously looking forward to that. I'm listening to strange days, and i think it's spectacular.
Keys are being kinda good to me surprisingly. Which is really awesome. I was in my school yesterday, with about an hour and a half left in my break before next class, i decided that i'd walk to the music building so that i could possibly listen to someone on violin or piano. When i went to the fourth floor, i walked around, heard a bit of violin, but it wasn't sparking my interest. I came across a room with a piano, and i looked inside, and there weren't any students there. So i sat down and played a little ben folds, and a little radiohead. And i had myself a little great time. I got to class on time too.
Some of my school courses are going to need alot of effort. I currently have faith in myself to give that effort. I'll keep us all informed. My music course, although i think it will take alot of effort (we're working with do re mi fa so la ti do, instead of c d e f g a b c. which is weird to me) i think i'll be happy i took it when it's over, i'm keen to learn. We sang in class on my first day, which was frightening, but i participated as best i could. Next class we have a test, we're going to listen to some crazy old classical tunes, and write the author and name of the piece, and the time period, as well as something pertaining to the piece (a comment about style or the harmonies used and such). I think it'll likely be a difficult test. But i'm signing out the text from my librairy, and the cds from the music building tomorrow, i will do well.
I'd say i can call it a post.
Flava'
Today was a productive day.
I signed up for three new courses today, rounding out the semester to five. My new courses include a course on music appreciation, an entry level course in criminology and an economics course. This should be a nice turn from the two math courses i have, which are appearing to be difficult courses.
I am currently in an intremural co-ed volleyball league. My captain will be calling me as to my first game. I'm glee with anticipation. And then on a far higher level of goodness, i joined an intremural hockey league today, i'll be playing on friday afternoons, and it should be rocking good.
I'll soon find out just how out of shape i am.
Jimminy.
Billy Talent at Olivers on friday. I plan on being there. With or without bells on.
Sometimes i wonder if chris and i are as good as i think we are. Maybe i think we're really good cause we have similar tastes, and we both write music based on our tastes. Since we write the type of music that we want to listen to, it's hard to imagine not enjoying it.
That's my current theory. If i didn't have that theory then i may become overly confident, cause i really like our music.
I wrote a little riff last night. And i'm going to tab it out here. When i first went to the computer i was really super excited about the riff, and i was prepared to compare it to street spirit. But at this point, i think that sort of comparison shouldn't be done.
"did you make the same mistake as the beatles and call yourself bigger then jesus?"
"it was the name of our second album."
Something to that effect.
----------------------------------------------
------10-8---8------------------------------
----9-----------10--10-9---9-7----7-9---
--7---------7------7-------7-----10-------
----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
the 7 on the d string should be ringing pretty consistantly. The spacing between the notes should be even, just for fun, lets call them 8th notes. I dont really know what it means exactly. But quarter notes would make for a pretty slow riff.
I had a great night last night, from what i remember. Apparently after the martini bar, i went to zaphods, but i dont remember that place at all. Sounds like a good time was had.
Oh ottawa, you haven't changed a bit.
I wake up at about 11:10, and find that i had set my alarm for 7:45pm. Not a very good start, i feel.
I'd say the best part of my day so far, was deciding that i should turn back and get my hat. Without it, my day would certainly become worse. It really is very cold.
To start my day, i go to a little peer help office, and had a few girls tell me that with my slew of problems, the best place to start was with my faculty. So i go to the office there, and delightfully (likely second best part of day) the cute/hot as all hell french girl is on secretarial (sp?, real word?) duty.
I get an email address from some lady who told me that when i find courses i want to be in, i can email her a list of them, and from this she'll tell me which ones are open. I'd call that a form of progress (although i'm still officially part time with my two course load).
From there i move on to financial services, where i plan on finally getting my student loan. So here's the deal. And this is the real deal, not just the deal that i had thought was the case for so long.
My innitial loan was sent back because i didn't have any ID on me that said i was simon arsenault. My "Simon Newton" student loan application was sent to 70 Cottonwood Dr. (my charlottetown pei address). This is how island loans are done, they're sent to the student's homes. Ontario student loans are sent to the school, as well as Quebec. Upon reading that my loan has been sent out, the staff at the financial services building have been continuously telling me that my loan should be on it's way, and should be here shortly. However, it wasn't on it's way, it was on pei all along. Fantastic!
So when my mom called me to tell me that she got a new loan paper thing in the mail, i assumed it wasn't very important, I had been told that the loan was "on it's way" to my university about three times a week for the past 2 months. This thing that arrived at my house seemed inconcequential.
So that's pretty much that, whatever had been at my house has long since been thrown away. Tomorrow i get to talk to Don Currie (aka lindsay's dad) and ask him to send me a new loan application, to my ottawa home. Then i take it to school. Everything from there on should be good news.
But seriously, talk about a kick in the teeth.
Today there was signups for intremurals. I asked if i could sign up and then pay later when my loan arrived, they said i couldn't. As of a more recent check-back, soccer is full. If i can get money from home soon enough, i might be able to get into co-ed basketball, (it's the only basketball left) or maybe co-ed volleyball (which is the only volleyball offered). I'd be happy with either of these things, cause i'd be doing stuff. Wish me luck that they're not full by the time i come across funds.
The other piece of news i came across was that the reason i can't apply for any new courses online is because i have not paid for first semester. Therefor applying through a phone call wont help the cause, thus negating the progress made in paragraph five.
So i need to talk to financial services again, have them enter into their computer that i'm waiting for a student loan, then contact some lady and ask her to allow me to sign up for courses. Then i can sign up for courses, go to school, and learn.
Hopefully i'll be learning by early next week. Although that isn't as early as was intended.
As a bright side, i know things couldn't possibly get any worse. Heh, now i'm tempting fate. awesome.
I'm learning still fighting it on keys. Keys are gorgeous. Other musical note (huge pun intended): I broke a string yesterday. So i started jamming on craig's electric. Talk about a silver lining. I had a golden musical evening.
I hope i havn't bored anyone with my financial situation. Just making sure that those who do have an interest in this blog other then their own procrastination know what's up with me. As far as people looking for something entertaining to do with their time, i've heard good things about masterbation.
Make sure you all keep living. And that doesn't mean the same thing as not dying.
Salmon.