buzzing like a fridge

Thursday, October 31, 2002

Right now, i'm drinking a rum and coke, alone in my room, playing guitar, dressed up as harry potter. How fucking cool am i?

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Well, tomorrow is halloween, and i'm more then a little disapointed in myself.

I, Simon Arsenault, am going out, dressed up as Harry Potter.

I have big stupid glasses, a cape, and a wand.

I hope i get egged.

Have a happy halloween everyone, i hope you all have a great time.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

I've got my song done, i managed to force in a picking riff that i like, the transition is pretty weak. But i didn't want to post it without the picking, cause i like it. and it matches really well. After the picking riff, going back into the second run of the chorus, you'll hear a chord that isn't supposed to be that chord, just try to ignore that, i wasn't in the mood for more then one take.

Blinded

I see you look my way
your eyes sparkle at me
I hear you laugh at my jokes
how wrong could i be

i've thought about when
to make my move
now it seems i've made a mistake
so what should i do

pre-chorus

Blinded by my hope
Dont mind me
please smile again
i should have let you be

just turn around
i wont go far
have fun with your dancing
i'll be at the bar

chorus

we were never on the same page, it was a dumb idea anyway
"Friends sounds good," is what i say, "go back with them i'll be okay"
you will never know my thoughts and you wont know how much i paced
i'll cover up my sadness, hidden behind a smiling face

she enters the room
hoping for a fun night
she didn't see me cause
i'm not in the light

she gets offered a drink
and she accepts it
she thanks me with a smile and hug
and now she regrets it

------------------------------

I hope you like it, have a great day.

So yeah, i was a touch down over a bit of time, thinking that i haven't really made any friends here, just acquantances. and they dont even teach me to spell.

But that's asside the point. I'm feeling better now, most is swell. I might be going to see beck in early december. We'll see. I'm still knee deep in the howie. Things are going well though.

I havn't talked to my mom in about 3 weeks, so i really aughta get on that. I feel bad about it.

I've been going to the gym a bit more regularly, which is nice. I've also gone to all my classes so far this week i hope to be able to do it, monday shmunday, i'm impressed. Another goal that i've set for myself is to write a song every second sunday. That seems like it's tough. I've got a few things that i might be able to spit out by next sunday, and chances are i'll just fall back on recording my mel "she says" song, and say that will buy me two more weeks. But i know it'd be cheating. And asside from that, dave wrote everyday in 2 weeks, i should be able to put out one song in that time, and it matters not that he's dave fucking matthews. I'm going to do the whole set my mind to it bullshit. word.

talk to you all later.

Friday, October 25, 2002

Fuck fiction? is this a shot?

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

wow, you guys ready for a story?

Last night, monday night, hockey, from 11 to 12. Half late in the game, i sorta hit someone, not really hard, i didn't think. He was trying to get around me on the boards, and i caught up to him, from behind, and rubbed him out, he fell, and i took the puck. I thought nothing of it. Later in the game, the same guy tried to hit me, i just danced around him. Anyway, that's all for the hockey segment of the story.

This morning, i wake up at like 11:30 and on my white board, i see written, "nice hit, fucker". I'm wondering what the hell is going on, cause it didn't really make much sense to me. I think back to why the hit might have mattered to the guy (i didn't even know his name), and i remember that there were a half dozen girls in the stands, and the hit was basically in front of them. So i figure that maybe that's why the guy cared so much. I shrug it off, and think, that it's cool, i might get some sort of rivalry to happen. Something to play for, this was good news.

So i make my way to the showers, wearing boxers, and with a towel over my shoulder. same as always, Andy is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, all is normal. I went into the shower, and i'm washing my hair, and i hear some sort of rustleing outside the shower curtain. I peer out to see that all of my boxers and my towel are gone. heh, yeah.

I hear a bit of laughter and the bathroom door shut. All i've got with me, is my shower sandals that i'm wearing. And my mostly empty bottle of shampoo. I figure that i've really got nothing immediate that i have to do, so i quietly start to panic, and i go through the rest of my shower.

My watch was in my boxers, so i dont know what time it is. I'm figuring it's about ten to 12. Seems like about time to get out of the shower. I peer around the corner, there's nobody in the bathroom. I'm thinking hey, this might not be so bad. I've got both sandals on my hands, covering my front, in case of an unexpected entry. I slowly walk to the door, and i open it a crack and peer out.

Immediatly, i see about 10 people, who were talking amungst themeselves look towards the door, most of them forming smiles on their faces. I thought about jumping back and shutting the door, but it seemed pointless, so i just keep my head to the crack in the door, and take a look at what i'm dealing with, there's 11 people that i can see, 4 guys 7 girls. I recognise many of them, but none of them are really good friends, just people i've seen from res. Two of the girls to the left seem to feel sorry for my situation. I say hi to them, ask them how they're doing. They say good, how am i doing, I say i've been better. Everyone seemed to enjoy that.

i go back into the bathroom, I"m looking at my options, i could just go as i am, sandals over midsection, and hustle to my room, but that's no good, i know it's no good. I could form some sort of wrap with the paper towel. And that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Then i think of something... heh. seems crazy enough to work.

I start thinking about girls. Hehe, you might know where this will lead.

I'll leave a small part of this story to the imagination. A short while after my first appearance on the outside, i open up the door. And walk out. I'm wearing my sandals. hands casually by my side. I'm kinda flexing my abs, cause i'm trying to look sharp. and i'm looking like the fucking washington monument.

I pause when i get out, just to get a look at some people's faces. All the guys have turned away, one of them keeps kinda looking over his shoulder, probably he's unsure of whether this is actually happening. Of the girls, a few of them are basically just staring, some of them have turned away, some of them have kinda half covered their faces, disbelief. I then proceed to walk about 20 paces to my room, and i go in.

The rest of the day, i've been grinning like a fool. People keep staring and pointing. Whispering to eachother. Some girls that i saw for the first time outside the bathroom have been hanging with me the whole day. heh, radical.

So yeah, that's my story. It's mostly fictional. I played hockey last night, kinda hit a guy. That's about it. Hope you've been entertained.

I dont know what an average post for me is, but i somehow feel like this one is going to be along those lines.

Tonight, played hockey, there's this cute girl that also plays hockey, she's really quite good for a girl, she plays like 4 times a week or something. On a couple of girls teams, then in a beer league, and then with us res players.

So anyway, after the game, i get changed out of my hockey gear, and i go out to the lobby to wait for my ride, and she's sitting there by her gear, i'm mostly just exausted, i dont think i say anything, i just lean up against the wall.

"i like your pants"

Now, i know 90% of you, are thinking that it's just a basic compliment, which means nothing, but that other 10% of you, (which is me, revisiting my own page, on a search for companionship in the form of comments) are wondering why she would say such an odd compliment, after a tiring game of hockey. My first thought was that i am in no shape to try and make some sort of clever return compliment. so i say, after what must be a noticeable pause:

"uhh, thanks... i... um.. thanks."

then there's silence for about 10 seconds, and a guy comes out of the room, and they leave. See you next week, she says, See you next week, is my cunning response. Then my ride comes out of the room, and i walk to the car, now both physically and mentally exausted.

At this point, i decided to read the last paragraph over and i just chuckled and said to myself, "so this is my life". And it really is.

Warning! obscure simpsons reference:
Okay, i'm barney, homer has been injured with exploding beer can. i exclaim, "i can't stand to see him like this", and i smother homer with a pillow. And then i rip a water fountain out of the floor, and throw it through a window and run off into the sunset. You? you're moe. say your line moe. you know your line.

i recorded a song today, but you guys have been good to me, you deserve a music free post. I think tomorrow will be your time though, probably before any of you read this. I put the mic in a different place, so now there should be no problems hearing my voice. However, whether this is an improvement, will be up for debate.

I hope you're all sleeping well.

One last note, my exam schedule gives me exams on the 11th, 12th, 14th and 17th. And my second semester starts on the 6th. in less then 2 months i'll be home.

Monday, October 21, 2002

it looks like for the first time since i started planning my day, i'm going to complete everything that i planned to do. I thank my low expectations for a sunday. i had two things written down, gym, and sing. and i've already gone to the gym, so now i just need to grab my basketball, and my $18 tape player, and run off to the basketball court on the other side of campus, and sing, and shoot some hoops.

I just came to the realization that i'm in a rut. I can't let that happen. I came here to make memories. My memories i've made are fairly few and far between, and none are spectacular. So yeah, i want people to bug me about that. I was asked twice last week to tell a story, and both times i was thinking about how shitty it was that i dont have any stories. It's not like i'm not having fun, but i want memories.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

yay, another song, yay.
This is the song i wrote about michelle, sorta. I mean, it's not really about her, but it's theme is based on one nights thoughts while i was thinking about her. These feelings aren't current. But they made for what i think is a pretty solid song.

what could i possibly say
To get you to see me that way
whisper the words
I know they should be my own
but you've got my mind locked up
I can barely think

what are you doing to me?
i am forced to act the fool
dont shrug or laugh like that
You should know i fell for you.

You came without warning so unfair
You dont even notice i'm trying
I wish i could see inside your mind
I can't tell if it's me that you're eyeing

What do you want me to say
If you still care anyway
I have got to know
why are you looking at me
I try to know i try to see
how you think we are

what are you doing to me?
i am forced to act the fool
dont shrug or laugh like that
You should know i fell for you.

You came without warning so unfair
You dont even notice i'm trying
I wish i could see inside your mind
I can't tell if it's me that you're eyeing

You came without warning so unfair
You dont even notice i'm trying
I wish i could see inside your mind
I can't tell if it's me that you're eyeing

I just finished Nineteen Eighty-four

my head is swimming, in what must be one of the best ways possible.

Sunday, October 13, 2002

I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning... even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there.

I don't even know how long shes been gone. It's like i've woken up in bed and shes not here, because shes gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow I just know shes never gonna come back to bed. If I could just reach over and touch her side of the bed i'd know that it was cold. But I can't. I know I can't have her back. But I don't want to wake up in the morning thinking shes still here. I lie here not knowing how long i've been alone. So how can I heal... how am I supposed to heal if I can't feel time?

2 quotes from memento. wow.

that was weird, i just took a deep breath, looked at my watch, and held my breath for 40 seconds, i could feel my heart trying harder. and my eyes got fuzzy, so i stopped.

3 related points.

i dont like how all the best things that happen to me are in fictional situations that i've played out in my head.

i dont like how i've given advice to people that i'm realizing that i can't follow myself.

i've got to step up.

1 not related question

why do i really want girls i know to find howie day attractive?

1 attempt at an answer:

I really think i can become the simon arsenault equivelent to howie day.

=

1 great beer. (that's a commercial i think)

in linear algebra, i thought i did really good on the midterm, so i was disapointed to find out that when 75% of the exams were corrected, the best mark was 31/40, but when they got passed back, i found that i got a 90, 36/40, so i was happy with myself. I am quite the linear algebra fan. My friend marcel got the 31. He's a really smart guy, smokes a shit load of pot. But so do alot of people. Apparently, for some sort of movie, i'm supposed to get high, then run blindfolded through a forest. Seems like an action/adventure sort of thing, should really let my career in show business take off.

martha stewart: I'm so very lonely.
alex trebec: i know.

today i watched a subtitled and dubbed japanese fighting movie, it was the funniest thing i'd ever seen. Actually, most of it wasn't funny, seeing as how it wasn't a comedy. But there was one part, near the start, where this jackass of a cop comes into a room, and the other younger cooler fighting cops were being shoved around by the stupid older cops, and one of the young ones, started sniffing, and said something about the horrible smell, then pointed at the main jackass cop and said (in horrible dubbing) "ah, man, look, his ass is right under his nose". Now i dont know if this is a common insult, but i found it to be pretty comical, it got a chuckle out of me. But later on, one of the older cool cops, that none of the somewhat old jerk cops liked, (the guy that hired the three younger cool cops) was in the hospital, and it was being found out that he was right, and that he was on the track of the evil guy they were trying to get. (that wasn't a complete sentance, but i'll stop now and start a new one anyway) Yeah, that guy, was right, and the jerk guy was wrong, and when he admitted that the old dude was right, the old dude said something like "yeah, you win, and you know what you win?A hundred tons of toilet paper [small pause].... So you can wipe your mouth with it!" well yeah, it was half quiet after he said that, then everyone chuckled a little bit, myself included, then i repeated the line to myself, thought about what he said, and i was gone. I was laughing so hard i almost fell off the bed, i was crying for about 40 seconds, tears of laughter. I was unable to controll my laughter, it was a great feeling, i can't remember laughing so hard. I laughed so hard that my chest hurt. To see me laughing like that, you'd swear that i'd just seen a mood swinging old lady at a graduation ceremony. It was that funny.

{ that line was for you bud. }

Happy thanksgiving everyone, love you all.

i redid dont look now, with an easier to play, and therefore simpler bridge, and even though i bumbled coming out of the first chorus and into the third verse, i still feel as though it was better done then the first run through. I only did one run through of lyrics, so it's expected to be quieter, on the other two recordings i played and sang the song, then i recorded another track of singing, and boosted up the volume on that one, so that it would be heard at par with music. this time i didnt' do that.

On basically the same topic, i put a $100 deposit down on a new guitar. I decided it was better to get a new guitar then to get a pickup and preamp. It's 400 plus tax, it's used, it's a yamaha 411. cutaway acoustic electric. it's pretty sweet. The Line6 DL-4 delay modelers weren't in yet, so i didn't get to try it out.

On a differen't topic, i'm happy, which is good. I dont really have any reason to be, or not to be. but i am, so yeah, good for me. i think. later guys, and you guys would be doing me a great favor if you could give my second song (dont look now) another listen to tell me if it's better this time round.

Friday, October 11, 2002

i just recorded my second song. If you guys liked the last one, you should like this one alot. cause it's probably my favorite that i've done. Its pretty damn good. In my less then humble opinion anyway. There were a few mess ups in the vocals, but nothing worth re-recording. I'm really excited to have you guys hear this one. really damn excited.

Dont Look Now

Stop trying to get back at everyone
You are leaving your self behind.
How will you deal with the unreversable
Tonight will be the story of your life.

so now what do you do
with the responsibility that swells
there's no room for sugar coating
no room to kid yourself

dont look now but the night is over.
and dont look now cause you're feeling sober.
and dont look now cause there's blood all over
your hands

It's hard to believe it was 8 days ago.
dont hide from it, the pain can be real.
pull your head up, out of your hands
I wont pretend to know how you feel.

dont look now but the night is over.
and dont look now cause you're feeling sober.
and dont look now cause there's blood all over
your hands

- me

Thursday, October 10, 2002

So yeah, this song's lyrics are a touch weak, and the music is rather weak, but the music matches the melody really well, i think. So here we are, expect better songs shortly.

I am
still lying
staring at
the ceiling
i'm wondering
just what
i could have done for you

you are
out walking
with him
you're talking
you think
that he knows
just what is good for you

but i can't go on with the thought that you denied me
and i cannot stop wanting you beside me.

so i
will just wait
hope he makes
a mistake
something
that will send
you running back to me

but it
wont happen
fuck it
wont happen
if only
if only
you could see

that i can't go on with the thought that you denied me
i can't just leave you here when there's a part of you inside me

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

So anyway, last night i went to play basketball for the second strait night, played for about an hour, solo. There's a court behind the gym, and you push a button to have the lights go on, and it's really well lit. good court. Rims and backboards are flawless, one of the meshes is kinda ugly, but meh, unimportant.

So yeah, i've decided to try hard at basketball, cause i dont know what else to keep myself occupied with. i shot 120 free throws monday night, i was 42/100, then i only got 6 out of my next 20. i did them in sets of 20. Then last night i was doing better, i got 10/20, then 15/20, then 13/20, then i was 7/10 and choked heavily, got 1 out of my next 10, so i let the final rebound bounce around a little, then i booted the ball deep into the soccer field.

to finish out my hundred i started shooting again, i was 3/11 when i finally booted the ball one last time, consiterably farther then before, picked it up, and walked home.

If you're reading about my life, and you're bored with it, dont blame me, i'm just talking, and for what perpose, i'm not even that sure.

When i walked down to the basketball court, i saw 2 people leaving the court, one was mike, he's a great guy, whenever i see him in clubs and stuff, he tends to introduce me to hot girls that he's with. he's often with hot girls, he's a good looking guy. And he appreciates my company and my guitar. So yeah, good stuff. I'm not sure, it was dark, and she had a hoodie on, but i think that he was there with mel. i like mel. i dont need to get into any sort of detail.

I seldom think that what happens to me is interesting, so i'm going to start talking about thoughts and shit now, cause that's what makes me me, it's not like i'm having wild adventures, but i have a very active mind, and think about shit pretty damn often. And i tend to enjoy thinking about shit.

So yeah, last night i'm thinking that the things that keep me happy are friends, sports and music. And weee hooo, i dont want to talk anymore. frick, i'll type again when i'm smiling, cause that's what i want to be known for.

bye for now.

Sunday, October 06, 2002

I just read aine's post. I disagree, i like talking about happy events, it makes me happy. This is a small post. Maybe i'm not as happy online as i think i am. But i find most exciting things to be fun, and my last post about michelle, it might not have been bubbles and candy and balloons, but i was happy when writing it. And i really hope i got that across. Please comment on this aine, even though i'll not read it for a week or so, i want to know what you think. am i "bitching" on this blog? thanks for you time.

I've really got to get back online, my computer is on the rocks, i'm on someone elses now, I miss reading blogs getting emails, talking on msn, i miss you guys, i just read dave's post. then josh's then aine's, Good stuff people, great fricking stuff. I'll talk to you guys later,

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

I dont remember what episode it was in, but i'm sure one of my faithful readers will tell me, but yeah, it's kind of a vague reference. I'm remembering homer screaming twice, then passing out. Good screams. Loud. Frightful. I'm thinking something about mr. burns, but i can't say with any certainty.

These screems are what went through my head when i just read an email i got from michelle.

One might say i'm terrified.

I might be that one.

I had a brief conversation with her this morning. she knocked on my door at about 11:30, asked if i wanted to go into town, i told her i shouldnt' cause i'd slept in and missed two classes all ready today, and i'd been missing far too many classes (another story). So yeah, i also happened to mention that i was up late writing lyrics, she asked if they were about her, and i said "I wrote a song about you about a few weeks back". This, my friends, was not a cool thing to say.

The song i wrote about her is the one that i posted a few weeks back, you'll find it in the archives if you look for it. It's sort of about not knowing what to say to a girl, and just wishing that i could bring the words up. It includes phrases such as "you dont even notice i'm trying" and "you should know i fell for you".

These are not cool things to say to a girl.
the following is an exerpt from the email.

I will talk to you later.

Luv ya
Michelle

P.S. Don't forget, I wanna hear that song you wrote about me!!!

This is all round, an uncool situation to be in. I didn't even like the music that i'd put it to. I'm not going to just let her read the lyrics, i dont even know if i like them. She's the one with the liquid eyes. She's cute as all fuck. She's the one that i played in the sprinklers with, and talked to for a few hours, in the post where everyone thought i'd get laid.

sigh...

I'm thinking that i'll work like mad to get this thing into some music that i like, and i'll go to my singing lessons, and i'll simply sing it to her. She probably wont hear most of the actual words, she'll just think it's a nice song. And when she asks what it's about, then i'll vomit and run. any thoughts?