the future is no place to place your better days.
see you later. fucking eh!
"Story of a man who decided not to breathe
turned red purple then blue colorful indeed
nomatter how his friends begged, well, he would not conceed.
and now he's dead.
ya see cause everybody knows you've got to breathe.
but oh god, under the weight of life, things seem brighter on the other side
lighter on the other side.
Another one, see this monkey sitting in his tree
one day decided to climb down and run off to the city
look at him now tired and drunk living in the street
as good as dead
ya see, a monkey should know stay up ya tree.
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
oh god, but under the weight of life things seem much lighter on the other side
no way, no way, no way out of here
Another one: a big eyed fish, yeah, swimming in the sea
oh how he dreamed he wants to be a bird swooping diving through the breeze
one day he caught a big blue wave up onto the beach
now he's dead
you see, a fish's dream should stay in the sea
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
no way
no way
no way out of here
no way out of here
no way out of life"
davematthewsband-lillywhitesessions-bigeyedfish
i like that song. i'd best be gon.
i'm good for it
Dave may have killed, or at least wounded big eyed fish, best line gone, fish's dreams should stay in the sea. I'll stick with lillywhite thanks.
I wish i was your favorite. (nobody knows who i'm talking to, guess if you must)
i seriously have no idea what the third thing was, i've been thinking for about ten minutes, i'm sure i had 3. i'm sorry to disappoint.
4 out of first 5
7 out of first 10
11 out of first 15
14 out of first 20.
no layups, not even as close as baseline was i.
patrick ewing must be rolling in his grave.
ok...when we saw you today i didnt really get a good look at the person solely saw the hair and asked dave if he knew that girl....I AM SO SORRY
yeah, that'd be me.
well, i dont know what to say. i really dont, i'm feeling pretty good about it to be honest. girls are attractive.
but as carley said, girls are also pretty, what does this mean.
7:20: out of bed, rushed, try a new apple crumble bagel, not bad.
7:32: in shower
7:44 out shower
7:52 rollerblades securely fastened
7:54 weeee
7:55 aaaurrrg
7:56 go to brite spot. ask about condition of my face, he gives me some paper towel and suggests that work will understand my not showing up and that i head home. i comply
7:57 test fingers, note that i can still play guitar.
8:03 get home, call work, give them the lowdown. tell mom i fell, bleeding, hurt chin, she tells me to drive to hospital, i do just that.
8:30 to 10:30 not too long of a wait, get in waiting room, fall asleep while in little room, doctor wakes me up, freezes chin, applies stitching.
11:15 arrive at work.
12:59 randy - "you're going to lunch? you got here at like 11:30!" me - "hell yeah"
1:01 go to lunch, wendy's, #1, frosty, make my way to airport.
1:20 wish carley a good trip, get a good hug.
1:30 while heading back to work, see 2 hitchhikers, both female, give them a good shrug, hope they can read my thoughts and keep driving
1:34 finished rounding the block, see hitchhikers again, stop.
1:35 have asked where they're headed, hoping not far, cause i dont have alot of time cause of the restraints of my lunch break, over at 2. They're going to ottawa.
1:36, nice people, they're from vancouver, decided they'd like to see every province this summer, did just that. are on their way back.
1:46 made it to cornwall, let them off, apoligised for lack of any sort of distance, headed back to work.
1:48 realized that the only reason i picked them up was cause they were girls, wondered if that made me a bad person.
1:58 - 2 minutes early, model employee.
2:30 (approx) decided i was going to do a post of this style when i got home, figured it was sad that i'd planned that out. then proceeded to plan it out.
3:40 finished off my litre of orange juice during break.
5:00. off work, go home.
6:19 realize that my days events are not interesting at any time after the 7:56
6:29 realized the irrelivance of orange juice comment.
6:33 - done
one last thing
make yourself a photograph and laugh at me. please.
i wont say anything at all.
damn...
it was such a mutual craze
between you and me and me and you
- howie day, lick my lips.
why does my first mutual thing have to happen this way? hardly seems fair.
it's 2, i work at 6:30, i can't sleep. I want to play.
in other news, the things that fucking suck are sucking less, although they still suck. i had alot of fun tonight, and my mind was involved in it, basketball is so damn free. it's living. so my mind was able to not think about the unhappy things. course it is now. bluh. i think i'm going to go sleep, sleep is happy. well, more numb then happy, but it's compairably happy.
and that's why i'm wondering why you had to tell me what's going on in your head. what's wrong. come around to another time when you, dont have to run. and when she says she wants somebody else i hope you know, she doesn't mean you, and when she breaks down and makes a sound you'll never hear her, the way that i do, and when she says she want someone to love i hope you know that she doesn't mean you, and when she breaks down and lets you down, i hope you know that she doesn't mean you. I dont know where we're coming from, i dont know where we're coming to, i dont know what it means to me and you dont know what it means to you.
on a personal note, several things fucking suck. i've saved some proverbial money, put half on red, half on black, and came up with the god damn double zero. if i'd taken the time to realize it, half of the god damn table is zeros, i didn't have a chance to begin with, especially with black. cause it's fucking married. so now i can resort to the old pish-thud-chick-chick, which i think i'll steer clear of. or i can go outside, dance till someone throws me a toonie, and put it on a safe game of whitejack. Even though i'm tired and unhappy, i still take the time to throw in some inside jokes and try to be pleasant. I truly am a consumer whore.
Does everyone want what he/she cannot have, or am i just retarded. scratch that second question, it's a no brainer. but yeah darn it's frustrating.
The candy shop stopped selling 5 cent candies, i lost 2 cents, they put away the change dish, and there's nobody here to lend me any money. i'm buying a sweedish fish, but i dont even know if i want it. i've never spit out a candy. the yellow sour patch kid is stale. and was promptly returned even though it was happy. ignore all of that. it'll be there for me to look back on and wonder why i talked about candy.
lies make people happy sometimes. go with it.
see you later. fucking eh!
fucking d string, fucking tripping billies, now what the fuck do i do?
you'll never know me the way i know me
"Story of a man who decided not to breathe
turned red purple then blue colorful indeed
nomatter how his friends begged, well, he would not conceed.
and now he's dead.
ya see cause everybody knows you've got to breathe.
but oh god, under the weight of life, things seem brighter on the other side
lighter on the other side.
Another one, see this monkey sitting in his tree
one day decided to climb down and run off to the city
look at him now tired and drunk living in the street
as good as dead
ya see, a monkey should know stay up ya tree.
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
oh god, but under the weight of life things seem much lighter on the other side
no way, no way, no way out of here
Another one: a big eyed fish, yeah, swimming in the sea
oh how he dreamed he wants to be a bird swooping diving through the breeze
one day he caught a big blue wave up onto the beach
now he's dead
you see, a fish's dream should stay in the sea
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
but oh god, under the weight of life things seem brighter on the other side
no way
no way
no way out of here
no way out of here
no way out of life"
davematthewsband-lillywhitesessions-bigeyedfish
i like that song. i'd best be gon.
I've come to realize that i'm a needy person, which is too bad, I dont like feeling mentally flawed.
I'm seldom this happy, i dont know how to explain it. this is trememdous. i just got off work, came home to an empty house, turned busted stuff way up, randomized, grace is gone, followed by big eyed fish. thus far anyway. I'm not going to sleep tonight for some time, i dont know what i will do, but i'll find something. I feel so damn special, it's so cool. We'll see how far i can go tonight before being proved otherwise. this is beautiful. Your trip sounds fantastic carley. keep having yourself a time. goobles. this is a good feeling. i'm going to call linds, see what the score is. maybe i'll learn grace is gone tonight, I'm working on some john mayer, which is tough. but challenges are fun. I'm liking love song for no one. And to be honest, i'm learning songs based on whether my playing of them is likely to have me win over some chicks when i move westward. Mayer's probably bagged his share of ladies, and though that might have to do with his undeniable hotness, some people might like the guitar. We'll see what we can do. btw, john mayer is hot.
oh yeah, one more thing, I've got this thing at work, if people sign up for a Canadian Tire credit card, then i get $5.60. And being the money genious i am, i was thinking, hey! i have like 2 friends... that's like 8 dollars!! So yeah, if anyone wants to fill out some easy thing for a credit card, then either not get it, or cut it up if they do, then i'd still get paid, and everyone wins, if you want to keep the card that's your own deal, but there's no obligation for it to be used or anything, and i'm thinking that there's no reason that you couldn't write a whole bunch of fake info. But maybe they check it first, before i get paid, but yeah, on either note, if you're 18 or older, and feel like doing me a favor that'll take a few minutes of your time, then let me know who's interested in the comments, thanks gangmates.
Sometimes i feel like i'm on a different level of thought then everyone else in the world, as if everyone is kinda sitting inside their heads, observing all the neat things that are happening to them, and although they do have controll over what they do, they're mostly just spectating. where as myself, i feel like i'm at the controls of what's going on, and i keep getting these signals about whats taking place everywhere. case in point, tonight at peakes, everyone is dancing to the live band which i wouldn't hesitate to call terrific, and my asumption is that people are all just dancing, singing, listening, but that none of them are thinking, the kind of thing where you drive home and wonder how you got there, knowing that you weren't thinking in the least during the whole drive. So i'm there, half dancing, thinking that nobody else in the place is thinking. and noticing how my mind is going at it's regular quick pace, i'm thinking things like "somebody just brushed me, i wonder if it was a girl", "wow, that was a cool solo", "I just got something spilled on me", "i like wearing these shoes" "i hope lexa got home okay" "why didn't nick seem to recognise me" "hey, she's attractive" "i think i'm going to move closer to the guitaring" "damn megan's cute, i like the short hair", "okay simon, keep dancing, tap left foot, then right, move hands a little, not too much, keep having fun" and although i'm sure i went on for too long there, i'm sure everyone gets the idea. my mind is still going a mile a minute, and i have this feeling like everyone else is just kinda there, they know exactly what's going on, and they have control over what's going on, but they're in no way "thinking" about what's going on. Granted, they might all be drunk, but that's not entirely relivant. so i guess if people could tell me if i'm wrong then that'd be helpful. I think it'd be good if i was the only one that thought like that, cause i like the idea that i'm different. sleep well peeps.
sometimes its nice when things change fast, this time nothing actually changed except my state of mind, things are good, i'm happy. It had been a while since i played ball in the rain, maybe that did me some good. i'm going to go put some pants on, i hope everyone is having a fine day.
dont let my past errors give you doubts for the now.
i'm good for it
this is fun, i dont think i've ever been this close to writing a full song by myself, and i owe it all to quiting msn. yay. and by full, please excuse the lack of lyrics. some assembly required. need some punch with that line? shudder...
i've got 3 totally random things to say.
Dave may have killed, or at least wounded big eyed fish, best line gone, fish's dreams should stay in the sea. I'll stick with lillywhite thanks.
I wish i was your favorite. (nobody knows who i'm talking to, guess if you must)
i seriously have no idea what the third thing was, i've been thinking for about ten minutes, i'm sure i had 3. i'm sorry to disappoint.
wow, i love you guys with every part of who i am. best drive ever, easily. possibly best night ever. So damn happy.
I am Damon Stoudamire
4 out of first 5
7 out of first 10
11 out of first 15
14 out of first 20.
no layups, not even as close as baseline was i.
patrick ewing must be rolling in his grave.
so, so you think you can tell...
it appears as though my teetering desision has been given a shove in the right direction, i'm not going to go on msn till i'm back from my trip. thanks for making me feel guilty about it jenna. i'll still talk via email. you all know my address. i'll still blog and junk. if you see me on msn, then mock me. i'll miss talking to some of you, amie is a prime example. someone that i dont see in regular activities, but manage to keep in touch with via msn. but yeah, bye. hopefully i'll be unbored.
I thought about writing a sort of note to a bunch of people in this, but i decided not to. I think that there's a few cool people that i dont really have anything important to say to, and i wouldn't want to leave them out. and i dont know if some of the things i was going to say to other people are nice things to say, and i try to be nice. And i dont know if it's unfair to allow everyone to read things that i'm telling specific people. And i dont know if anyone would give a fuck what i have to say to them. even if i'm putting everything i've got into it. There's probably 1 person right now that i trust entirely, never have to worry about why i wasn't called, or anything. i always know that things are cool with us. certainties are so appreciated, something to fall back on. thanks. that's not to say that i'm worried or cautious around everyone or anyone else. It's just that everything else isn't as set in stone. shaaaa. i'm quite close to just firing down some names. Does it seem like somethign i'd regret? who knows. I think i worry too much about some people that i have a keen interest in. way too much. i think that'll do for now. i'm going to eat then sleep.
i know chris wont read this, but i'm pretty sure dave and josh will. My thoughts were that we'd leave morning of 25th, like 7 or 8am, and try to get to boston, first day. it's about a 12 hour drive i've heard, and i was thinking we could stay with chris's relatives there, or whoever he knew, and then on 26th we could go into boston, and spend the day there, looking at stuff and stuff. at the end of the day we could go back to chris's people's house for another good comfortable sleep, then next day, 27, i was thinking we could go to nyc, spend the day there, and find a place to camp somewhere that night, then albany on 28th, find some place to camp, then still albany on 29, concert that night. then sleep in same camp spot as night before, then we've got 30th, 31st, 1st, and 2nd, to do whatever. we could probably see some cool cities round that time, i dont know what. but the world will be our oyster. as long as we get home by 2nd. cause josh is going to work the next day. chris said that he could get off the 27th to 2nd, and would just call in sick on 25 or 26 if need be. heh, holy wow. this will be so cool.
i'm listening to bubble toes, reading about gord. this is happy.
wow, my link section wreaks of effort. hold your applause
i like compliments, they give me a false sense of confidence.
heh. funny. this girl at my work, up in the break room, reading paper, talks about how someone jumped off of hillsborough bridge. she then claimed that it was about a 60 meter fall. I didn't really put any thought to it, cause i didn't really care. i guess it should've sounded like alot. But anyway, that's not the funny part, the conversation about bridge jumping continued, and about 2 minutes down the road, she looks back at the article, and said the following, this is a direct quote by the way, after hearing it, i chuckled to myself, and proceeded to tear a piece off of the sports section and write down what she said, but yeah, here we go, "oh, wait, it's not 60 meters, it's 60 feet. 60 feet, that's not that bad. heh, 60 meters, that's like a kilometer."
i think if i was alone i'd be much happier, darn people.
fack blogger. fack it up the ace. martha focker
i just made up a word. Grandtastic, i like it. not enough to make it worthy of putting on a blog though, this is basically to try and make the other post work, cause i posted it over an hour ago and it's a nogo, so i'm shoving it up the scale to get it on the site, which'll obviously work. maybe i'll edit this to make it worthwhile.
susan says:
ok...when we saw you today i didnt really get a good look at the person solely saw the hair and asked dave if he knew that girl....I AM SO SORRY
yeah, that'd be me.
well, i dont know what to say. i really dont, i'm feeling pretty good about it to be honest. girls are attractive.
but as carley said, girls are also pretty, what does this mean.
6:53: alarm goes off, snooze.
7:20: out of bed, rushed, try a new apple crumble bagel, not bad.
7:32: in shower
7:44 out shower
7:52 rollerblades securely fastened
7:54 weeee
7:55 aaaurrrg
7:56 go to brite spot. ask about condition of my face, he gives me some paper towel and suggests that work will understand my not showing up and that i head home. i comply
7:57 test fingers, note that i can still play guitar.
8:03 get home, call work, give them the lowdown. tell mom i fell, bleeding, hurt chin, she tells me to drive to hospital, i do just that.
8:30 to 10:30 not too long of a wait, get in waiting room, fall asleep while in little room, doctor wakes me up, freezes chin, applies stitching.
11:15 arrive at work.
12:59 randy - "you're going to lunch? you got here at like 11:30!" me - "hell yeah"
1:01 go to lunch, wendy's, #1, frosty, make my way to airport.
1:20 wish carley a good trip, get a good hug.
1:30 while heading back to work, see 2 hitchhikers, both female, give them a good shrug, hope they can read my thoughts and keep driving
1:34 finished rounding the block, see hitchhikers again, stop.
1:35 have asked where they're headed, hoping not far, cause i dont have alot of time cause of the restraints of my lunch break, over at 2. They're going to ottawa.
1:36, nice people, they're from vancouver, decided they'd like to see every province this summer, did just that. are on their way back.
1:46 made it to cornwall, let them off, apoligised for lack of any sort of distance, headed back to work.
1:48 realized that the only reason i picked them up was cause they were girls, wondered if that made me a bad person.
1:58 - 2 minutes early, model employee.
2:30 (approx) decided i was going to do a post of this style when i got home, figured it was sad that i'd planned that out. then proceeded to plan it out.
3:40 finished off my litre of orange juice during break.
5:00. off work, go home.
6:19 realize that my days events are not interesting at any time after the 7:56
6:29 realized the irrelivance of orange juice comment.
6:33 - done
in 16 days i'll be headed to albany, i'll have to sleep more before i go then i am now. I just like being awake too much. When you sleep you aren't nearly as happy (or sad) as when you're awake, and since i'm primarily happy, i'm better off awake. 9 nights out of 10 anyway. I'm headed out.
one last thing
make yourself a photograph and laugh at me. please.
i'm trying to make it like it used to be, dont let me think i ruined things.
i think i'm going to post alot of fackin' crap. I can tell cause i started off with that sentance, and i dont have a point to writing anyway. so, here i am. I had a good talk with nat today, brief, but good, talked a little about love, and our old talk, and how wrong i was. the main thing that struck me is whether i'm better off. to be thinking like this about people that it can't happen with. I mean, it hurts, but at least it's real. these are almost direct quotes from natalie, so if anything sounds intelegent, i dont deserve any credit, but yeah, nice to think about. (start quote) Hey!! you've got to hide your love away. how can i even try, i can never win. (end quote) i dont even know the name of that song, although i should. it hit a pun worthy chord with me as i was listening to it, so i typed it up. but yeah, that'll do, goosh bye. labblefithem
i want to wake up where you are
i wont say anything at all.
damn...
i was never so amazed
it was such a mutual craze
between you and me and me and you
- howie day, lick my lips.
why does my first mutual thing have to happen this way? hardly seems fair.
it's 2, i work at 6:30, i can't sleep. I want to play.
i love ya carl, you're great.
i feel like the moon, i'm not going to explain that right yet
she doesn't mean me.
last night i saw a shooting star, and i figured i had nothing to wish for, it was a good feeling. i dont think i like mud.
i've gotta realize that i'm not going to matter to everyone that i'd like to matter to. It's rough though, expecially when they matter to me.
shit, ball's in dave's car.
it's pouring, and i'm indoors, this isn't right, i want someone to come online, so i can go for a walk or something. i felt trapped while i was at work today, it was brutal, damn what a great day it was today, it was crazy. hope nobody got hurt. I'm gone, basketball has sprung to mind. Sleep well. lets have a smile from everyone. nice to see.
If i've ever said to any of you before that kent aitken is a bastard. then i was wrong. this guy has a heart as big as my... well. let's just say it's big. i dont want to go telling of other peoples kind doings. he has a right to choose modestly. but still, nice guy. kudos kent, i will humbly take a bow.
in other news, the things that fucking suck are sucking less, although they still suck. i had alot of fun tonight, and my mind was involved in it, basketball is so damn free. it's living. so my mind was able to not think about the unhappy things. course it is now. bluh. i think i'm going to go sleep, sleep is happy. well, more numb then happy, but it's compairably happy.
and that's why i'm wondering why you had to tell me what's going on in your head. what's wrong. come around to another time when you, dont have to run. and when she says she wants somebody else i hope you know, she doesn't mean you, and when she breaks down and makes a sound you'll never hear her, the way that i do, and when she says she want someone to love i hope you know that she doesn't mean you, and when she breaks down and lets you down, i hope you know that she doesn't mean you. I dont know where we're coming from, i dont know where we're coming to, i dont know what it means to me and you dont know what it means to you.
well, it appears as though we're going to bid farewell jenna in the online community, if you dont know she appears to have packed up her blog and left town. Much like with death, we can be assured that she's gone to a better place. Also like death, i can selfishly wish that she would come back, so that she could continue to make myself and many others happy to know her. thanks jenna,
on a personal note, several things fucking suck. i've saved some proverbial money, put half on red, half on black, and came up with the god damn double zero. if i'd taken the time to realize it, half of the god damn table is zeros, i didn't have a chance to begin with, especially with black. cause it's fucking married. so now i can resort to the old pish-thud-chick-chick, which i think i'll steer clear of. or i can go outside, dance till someone throws me a toonie, and put it on a safe game of whitejack. Even though i'm tired and unhappy, i still take the time to throw in some inside jokes and try to be pleasant. I truly am a consumer whore.
Does everyone want what he/she cannot have, or am i just retarded. scratch that second question, it's a no brainer. but yeah darn it's frustrating.
The candy shop stopped selling 5 cent candies, i lost 2 cents, they put away the change dish, and there's nobody here to lend me any money. i'm buying a sweedish fish, but i dont even know if i want it. i've never spit out a candy. the yellow sour patch kid is stale. and was promptly returned even though it was happy. ignore all of that. it'll be there for me to look back on and wonder why i talked about candy.
lies make people happy sometimes. go with it.
I hate things that are inevitable, cause they always end up happening. And they usually suck. there's no great things that are inevitable.
it appears as though i've lost the appearance of my name, and i'm not smart enough to do it without effort, nor do i care enough to try. I'm at a proverbial standstill. Meh (with capital m).
heh, last night i could have been heard saying, and i quote, "no, no, i'm not a loser, i explained my logic on my website". at this point i preceeded to laugh at myself. for such a lame statement. sigh...